"Perfect" day :Revenge of the Fallen

It was suppose to be a perfect Sunday,but it wasn't.

Let's start with the morning:I couldn't sleep all night and when I finally fell asleep it was 8 Am,at 8:30 everybody woke up and made noise so I couldn't sleep.Until I got out of bed everybody already ate and went outside...when I went to eat there wasn't anything good left.So the day started perfectly.

Noon:I hat to help my father bring something from the attic so we went in the attic and only there he told me that we have to bring down 2 old refrigerators and a oven.
That wasn't the problem,the problem came when we had to bring them downstairs.That's why I called the post Revenge of the Fallen.

1.The refrigerators:
After thinking how to take them down ,we just started to carry them.On the stairs ,I don't know how it happened,but at the first refrigerator the door opened and hit my right in the face.Accident?Bullshit.
When we brought the second one it's motor fell...right on my f****** leg.

2.The Oven:After I finished swearing we took the oven,at the last stair I tripped and dropped it near my ankle the same one I sprained a week ago,it didn't hit me but I sprained my ankle again when I tripped.Lucky me.

Night:When I started to write the post my mom came and unplugged my computer,why?
"Because we need to save money,so I can't stay so much time on the computer./facepalm ".
She probably wants to save money just to buy another damn vase.

Only in Romania

I wrote this post because I'm sick of this country,not only because of the stupid politicians but of the many stupid people...I know that everybody is stupid in a way...but here..their stupider than stupidity.I think I overused the word "stupid".

I'll start the list:

-When something is at a promotion they will buy it,it doesn't matter if they need it or not.for example my mom...I think I could open a shop with all the crap she bought.

-The losers which think their cool just because they have a gay hair due and wear clothes from famous brands,well only the sign if from famous brands because the name is something like : "Armani-chan","feng-gucci","D & Company","Lizard(in stead of Lacoste).

-Or they go and buy things from the mall because their "original",once I bought a thing from a shop and at the mall I saw the same thing but 4 times expensive.

-Many people like to wear a lot of gold,even if they don't have with what to ff their families..at least they have their gold.

-All the money Romania received to build new roads disappeared,probably they used them them to look for Elvis.

-Even though ordinary Romanians don't have so much money when it comes to eating on a holiday like Christmas there's always money,Christmas is just a opportunity to eat and drink until we puke then drink and eat again.Who cares about Jesus?


Sorry,no picture today,I'm not writing from home.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

Well..since I made fun of him a few posts..well,OK in almost all my posts,I decided(not really) to make a post for him...something like a tribute.

Michael Jackson was also known as "The King of Pop music",he was born in Gary, Indiana to a working-class family on August 29, 1958.The son of Joseph Walter "Joe" Jackson and Katherine Esther he was the seventh of nine children. His siblings are Rebbie, Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, La Toya, Marlon, Randy and Janet.Joseph Jackson was a steel mill employee who often performed in an R&B band called The Falcons with his brother Luther.Jackson was raised as a Jehovah's Witness by his devout mother.(Via Wikipedia)

A thing that I don't understand about people...why is someones work more appreciated only after he/she dies?...for example many of my friend never talked about him and some don't even like him...but today after I told them that he had died,they said "Oh,how did it happen?he was a good pop artist let's listen to one of his songs."

Probably after I'll die people will like my blog.

This is one of the songs I really like.

My shop:


create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Blogging Award

I didn't post anything these days because I didn't know what,so since it's the 100th post I decided to make a blogging award.

1.Bored....Get UNBORED
Because laughter keeps us alive.

2.Rafael´s Fight Against a Mechanical Life
Terminator ain't got shit on him.

3.Scarlett's Walk
For the funniest walk you've ever taken.

4.Treasure Soul
We treasure every laugh.

5.Area 51.1
With 0.1 stranger than reality,I heard he's funny....wait..



And I've heard that Michael Jackson has died,so RIP M.Jackson.

Nerd Love

I have to listen sometimes too things like this in my high school,but with a bit of imagination picturing that is very funny.

This is a list of things nerds would say to each other:

"I love you so much, I would give you my chipset."

"Alienware computers can't be compared with your beauty."

"Your so beautiful that my CPU is overheating."

"Wanna see my FireWire?"

"Please don't leave me,it's like you unplugged my power supply while I was playing WoW."

Conversation:
N1:"So did see accept the ring?"
N2:"No...she gave me the blue screen of death."

"Hey babe ,wanna play tetris?"

"I wrote you this poem in C++."

Things are getting hot and heavy then the girl says "I know you love me so.....DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME NEW COMPUTER!"



That's just wrong....

Some people really are stupid

iRadioactive

Random Joke Day

1.Blond:
In a roundabout a blond stops at the light with a awesome car, because the light was red she stopped.Then a beggar came and said:
- Miss, Can you give me 1000$??
The blond gives him the money.At another light the same beggar:
- Miss, Can you give me 1000$??
The blond gives him the money again.At the third light the same beggar come and asked her:
- Miss, Can you give me 1000$,and I'll show you how to exit the roundabout?

2.Police:

A police man fall in the sewers while he was patrolling,the he he gets out happy and says:
"Damn I was lucky,if the sewer drain was covered I wouldn't have got out.

3.Bob in the training field:

After Bob didn't listen to any of the commands,the general shouted:
"Enemy air force at low altitude,everybody down!"
Everybody hit the ground ,except for Bob.
The general:"what are you doing?"
Bob:"I'm hiding behind this tree"
The general:"What tree?"
Bob::"What enemy air force?"

Razing founds for Nuclear Research

Yes,I'm razing found for nuclear research because it seems that other methods of creating weapons of mass destruction didn't work.

Such as:
-Subliminal messaging people making them emo.
-Collecting farts in a huge jar.
-Prank calling presidents.
-Making my mom mad.
-Closing for a few hours World of Warcraft.
-Poking Godzilla.
-Alien invasions...seems that they liked cows more than humans.
-Making Bush president.
-Broadcasting Power Ranger and other violent cartoons on TV ,so that children will watch them and I'll have a army of highly trained soldiers in a few years.

But now I'm gonna raise founds for nuclear warhead and I'm gonna take over the world ...muahahaha *coughing* * spit hairball*.



Isn't it ...beautiful?

Warning! I won't be held responsible for any nuclear attack caused because of this post.And if you find this offensive you're a hater and I ain't really planing to do this.

Questions over questions #2

Another list of questions.

1.Why are you served juice and cookies after you donate blood?
So you're gonna go back again in a few days or because you need to replenish your fluids and raise your blood sugar,but I think it's the first one.

2.Why are you hungry an hour after eating Chinese food?
Because the effort to eat it with those chop-sticks consumes all your resources.

3.Why does spicy food make your nose run?
well it could be because it's...SPICY.
Spicy food makes me run...wait..that explains why Mexicans are always in a hurry.

4.What causes an ice cream headache?
I hate those brain freezes while I'm enjoin my Popsicle in a sunny day ...and...well..I think that maybe....it's because of the ice cream,it's just a suggestion or it could be because you know that the ice cream is gonna finish.

5.When are you tired?
I'm usually tired when I fall asleep with my head in fridge...either that or I'm drunk.

6.Bing hands, big_____?
There seems to be no evidence that hand size is related to the size of your package
and just so you know a small penis expands more than a big one during erection.

7.Does candle flame remove ear wax?
Of course it does,and if your trying candle flames,why not use a torch or a flame thrower.

8.What are hiccups , and how do you get rid of them?
Some things that irritate the diaphragm and cause hiccups are distention of the stomach from food, alcohol, or air, sudden changes in gastric temperature, or use of alcohol and/or tobacco in excess.
How to get rid of them:
a.Breathing into a paper bag.
c.Scaring the living shit out of that person.
f.Holding your breath.
d.Eating a teaspoon of sugar.
j.Sucking on a wedge of lime or lemon.
z.Pulling hard on your tongue.

9.Does warm milk really help you sleep?
Well it depend how much you drink,you could drink until you pass out,or a bottle of whiskey will surely do the trick.

10.Can you ignite your fart?
An average fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane, and 4 percent oxygen. Less than 1 percent of its makeup is what makes a fart stink.(can I hear an Amen?!)
And yes you can ignite a fart because it contains hydrogen and methane.But I suggest you don't try.

Check out the other post Question over Questions

Bad day

At least it was a holy full of shit day.

Cleaning my room

Today was a sad day,I had to clean my room,I hate cleaning my room...actually I hate cleaning anything...well except for myself.
And considering that I haven't cleaned my room since I found out that Santa Claus doesn't exist ,damn bastards they have no idea how hard it was for me...I'm still affected by that ...wait..,anyway you can imagine what was in my room.

Well,it wasn't a total disaster there are many good parts too...or not...actually there are a few...but mostly are bad.

Good parts:

-I finally found my long lost turtle...well what's left from it...my dad gave me three turtles when I was seven,but the good part is I still have the other two.

-The funny smell is gone...mostly.

-I found food...it wasn't entirely rotten,a little salt did the trick.

Bad parts:

-About the "find food part"...after spending a lot of time under my bed .. some food can suffer some biological mutations...and I think a sandwich was staring at me...I poked it with a stick first.

-I'm gonna spit dust for the next 3 days.

-Now I won't find anything,because everything has it's place when my room is messed up,underwear on the TV,socks on the wardrobe,clothes on the floor and on the chandelier.

-And the worst part is that in less than a week everything it's gonna be messed up again.

Mom,I swear there's nothing under the carpet...it's a ghost.

Ways to a man's heart

There are many way to a mans heart,but for that you need a lot of work...for example I'm very picky about girls,I rarely see a girl who I really like.But these are some things I and other boys/men like in a woman.

Remember many men have 3 hearts.(homosexuals and transvestites aren't included)I'm nor discriminating them,I just don't like them.



1.Food...I know this is old,but it still works,considering that noways many mothers don't practice the sport called "Cooking",it should be add at the Olympic Games.

2.Humor...I,for example,like girls with a sense of humor,not when I make a joke she won't talk with me for the next 3 days.

3.Intelligence...it's easier to talk with a girl which has a brain instead of comb in her head and like this you might have more things in common.

4.Give your number if you really like that boy/man...asking for the number is the biggest problem for me,don't know why..and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

5.And there's always the classic Chuck Norris way,that being with your fist.

Joke of the week #2

Coke fail.

One day a new brand of Coke was invented by a really bored man.

Then he thought why not go in a place where there is few water and people would buy it so he could promote it.

The next day the man went in a Arabic city,but just as he arrived there he realized that he didn't know how to speak Arabic,so he made a poster describing the product.

He though that the first picture should be with a tired man.
The second picture was with a man drinking that coke.
And the third picture was with a man running in the desert.

So the the next day he spread everywhere this poster.



Nobody heard of that man ever again.

Think before you look at the clue.
Special thanks to my maths teacher,he gave me this joke.

Clue ↓



























Clue:
Think how Arab people read.

Save a tree eat a beaver

Ketchup and other spices not included.

Why karma is a bitch

During the last weeks karma was a bitch with me,here are some reasons.

1.When I do a good things something bad happens.
2.When I really try to help people something bad happens.
3.When I do a bad thing,a bad thing happens.

Wtf?shouldn't there be a equilibrium,you know "Do good things,and good things will happen","My name is Earl" is full of bullshit.

Now I'm afraid to do good things.

-If I go to help somebody build something there are 100% chance that something will fall on my foot.

-If I give my seat away in the bus,it will probably put a break and I'll fall and break something.

-If I want to help somebody without that persons permission he/she will probably be pissed off.

I have a recent example,I didn't o anything bad in the passed 3 weeks,and 2 day ago I sprained my ankle while playing basketball,in 16 years I never sprained my ankles.

I don't even want to think what's gonna happen because I wrote this post,probably I'll get shot in the ankle by a maniac which just broke out of prison or I'll get zapped by a experimental military satellite.



That came from outer space and I was the target.

Child - Mom translation

Well this list is made from my own experience,I've seen a man-wife translation and I though why not make a child-mom translation.
Oh yeah,the fail continues ,yesterday I sprained my ankle...it hurts like hell.

1.I love you mom!
Translation - Yeah...about that vase you just bought.

2.I really love you mom!
Translation - I need money.

3.I was a good boy.
Translation - Oh shit! please don't open the closet.

4.I cleaned my room.
Translation - I stuffed everything under my bed and in the closet.

5.I'm not sad.
Translation - I'm not sad as long as you give me money.

6.I missed you!
Translation - The fridge is empty.

7.I never got drunk!
Translation - I always get wasted.

8.I was changing that's why I didn't answer.
Translation - Yes! she didn't see my girlfriend's underwear.

9.No I don't have a girlfriend.
Translation - I have around 10.

10.I need to be alone.
Translation - Damn it woman! don't you see I want to make a castle out of peanuts.

11.Of course I like my step father.
Translation- He's perfect for testing my new homemade weapons

12.The music is not loud at all.
Translation - Fuck... my audio has to make the bed vibrate not less... biAtch

13. I can't hear you!
Translation - I'm not coming unless you have something good for me

14.It wasn't my fault.
Translation - You won't do anything so just leave me alone.

15.I watch a cool movie with my friends.
Translation - It was really fun getting drunk and laid.

16.No,I don't what that , It's to expensive.
Translation - Shit that's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

17.Thank you for the wonderful gift!
Translation - Fuck.. another piece of garbage

18.I really wanted to read that book!
Translation - You just uselessly killed a tree,do you know that?

19.Of course I read that book,but I can't find it now.
Translation - It left a rash on my ass.

20.This soup is delicious!
Translation - I've never tasted such liquid shit.

Things that really make me bored

I sure that a lot of these thing make you bored too.

1.Reading
Even though reading is good it makes me bored,I don't see the use of reading when I could just watch a movie made after that book.
A book can be used in many ways:
-It can hold the dust.
-It can maintain a fire.
-It can be used as toilet paper.
-It can protect you from the rain...etc.

2.News on TV.

Every time I watch the news I see the same thing...somebody died,Michael Jackson raped another child,Chubacka shaved his pubes..etc.

3.People who talk smart.
I know that some people (dorks,nerds,Stephen Hawking's..etc.) tend to talk a lot with very long and complicated words...which sometimes...well OK every time make people sleepy...but in my case they just make me bored.

Example :
Dork "After studding you more closely I've reached the conclusion that your intelligence quotient might be under the limit of stupidity."

Why can't they just say like normal people: "You're stupid!"

Their fail my WIN!

I love Photoshop

Are you bored?

I'm almost never bored because I can make anything interesting,and I have a vast imagination...sometime I'm scared by my imagination.
Do you have any idea how disgusting can things get in my mind sometimes?

Never mind,here's a list o thing I do when I'm bored.

-If I'm home I usually look on the internet for funny stuff,but considering my luck and sometimes when I'm bored I don't have internet...I like to draw,it doesn't matter if you have talent or not ,you can just laugh of what you've drawn.

-When I'm at the mountains when I get bored,that being all the time,I like to look at the sky and associate the clouds with animal,food or anything else,When I associate them with food I always see pancakes...I don't know why....who knows.

-When I walking...I like to count my steps or step only on specific places,probably you consider this one a bit strange.

-Or when I'm really bored I like to steal my brothers toys.



They see me rollin'
They hatin'
Patrollin'
They tryin' to catch me ridin dirty.

How to get a girl's number and Blogging Award

The old just look at her until she give you her number doesn't work anymore,girls can see on Google strategies on how to get a number,so we always have to come up with new ways,an sometimes they just make fun of you...do you know how hard it is for me now?...wait..

The blogging award is just under the video.

So speaking of cookies,I've made a list of what to say and what you shouldn't say when you want a number.


Work:
1.It worked for me:
After a long conversation,with that girl,I forgot to take her number ,then after 3 days when I finally managed to talk with her...I forgot again,and on my way out I remembered,so I just went back and told her if I can have her number before I forget again.And I have her number.

2.Torture her until she gives you her number or tells you she doesn't have a phone...really effective ,but i haven't tried it...yet.

3.Or you could just ask for her number...but where would all the fun go?.

Won't work:

1.Don't be shy when you ask for the number because then she'll just make fun of you,or she'll give you the wrong number.

2.Don't lie about what you are just to get her number because then you'll probably get a number,but definitely not hers,and yo could be called after 2 days by some men which want to kill you.

3.Don't shut up,it would help if you would ask her what you want.



This could also work.

And if you're already bored of my blog...then visit Bored...Get Unbored or Treasure Soul or Rafael´s Fight Against a Mechanical Life because if you liked my blog,the you'll surely like their blog.

WARNING!I won't be held responsible for any injuries/deaths which occurred because of this post.teehee.

Sorry if I have a lot of spelling mistakes , but I was in a hurry when I wrote this post.

Man's evolution

When man hasn't heard about hot chicks.



When man didn't understand the term of hot chicks .



When man finally got hot chicks.



But I can't see the difference between Picture 2 and Picture 3.

"Perfect" day:Double the day ,Double the damage

Since for almost 2 weeks everything was OK,surprisingly nothing bad happened...I should have seen it coming.

3 Days before:
It all started when I was talking with a girl 3 days ago,it was all OK I told her that I want to take her out,she agreed and then she said that she has to go sleep it was late anyway...and of course I forgot to take her number.

Day 2:
Anyways the next day I went at school and everything was OK,and I keep thinking how to get that dam number so I can call her,the I though that anyway when I'll go home I'll take it.So after school I ran home just to find out that I didn't have electricity .../facepalm...so the I just went with some friend at the swimming pool...there I had a lot of fun...but when I arrived home I realized that I was burned like a KFC chicken.

Then I just went to sleep forgetting to talk with that girl...

Yesterday:
The next morning I had to go to school again,and only when I tried to wake up I realized how sunburned I was,after 1 hour of pain I managed to get out of bed,but at least I didn't go to school,then I slowly went to the computer and saw that I didn't have internet.

In my mind:"Ahhhhhh...this is a fucking conspiracy...shit,fuck..etc."

So then I used something for sunburns and went again to the swimming pool,I still regret doing that,now I could easily be consed with a giant tomato.

And I realize that I had lost Luigi at the swimming pool, but at least now I have 2 new friends Bob and Gino.



Bob thinks he's Chinese ,and Gino thinks he's a gangster.

Oh yeah,I still didn't talk with that girl to take her number.

My banners evolution

This is how I started my banner.


Then I thought It would be interesting to write something.


Then I added some color,and a damn leprechaun interfered.


And in the end I made this one,mainly because I got bored and I don't have anymore ideas.


If you have ideas how to make it please share.

When are you drunk?

This list could be useful when you never got wasted before,so that when you get wasted you'll know how much time you have until you're gonna get your ass kicked by your parents.
1.When you have a debate with object around you,and they still have the last word.
2.When you have to hold on to the asphalt so you won't fall off the sidewalk.
3.Your doctor finds blood in the alcohol samples you sent him.
4.When the toilet seat insists on hitting you.
5.24 hours per day,24 beers in a crate,I don't think that's a coincidence.
6.You have two hands and only one mouth ,this could be a problem while drinking.
7.When you can see better if you have your eyes closed.
8.When the parking lot moved away while you where drinking.
9.When your best friends become Jack Daniels and Jim Beam,then you'll soon visit Dr.Pepper.
10.When the ugly lady near you turns in a smokin' hot chick,don't invite her home.
11.When you think that having your underwear on your head gives you superpowers.
12.When you start searching for Nemo,naked.
13.When you wish to be a Pokemon.(this happened to me)

Random Joke I can't remember what day is today

Since today I'm very tired I'm gonna write some jokes.I hope this tips will help me sleep better
1.Homosexuals :

A homo enters a shop and asks the shopkeeper:
H:Can I have a salami please?
S:Of course, do you want me to cut it?
H:Do I look like a piggy bank?

2.Women:
What do parking lots and women have in common?

The good one are always taken and the only free one are for retarded people.

3.Blond:

A blond,redhead and brunet went at a lie detector:

The brunet:
I'm thinking of a house in Australia.
...BEEP-your lying.

The redhead:
I'm thinking of a red car.
...BEEP-your lying.

The blond:
I'm thinking...
...BEEP-your lying.

4.Bad parenting:

K:Dad can you buy me a 3G telephone with bluetooth,video camera and java applications?
Dad:why can't you take drugs like all the other kids?!

5.Drunk man:

A drunk man stops in from of a street light and starts knocking it.
Later another drunk man comes and says:
Keep insisting,the lights are on.

What to do if you end up in prison

Well I think this list is useful for amateur criminal which are going to end up in prison.This list ISN'T made from my experience...you have no idea how many times I had to go there to gather all these tips.....wait.

Well lets start:

1.First of all at the showers NEVER drop the soap,you never know what could enter your "backyard",I think you know this one from a lot of movies.

2.Always try to make some friends because if your gonna be alone you'll end up to be someones biatch,if you're gonna end up in a Mexican prison they'll use you like a pinata and "hit" you all day.(no offense to Mexican citizens)

3.If your gonna go to prison because you molested a child,then I hope you get rapped you sick bastard.

4.Don't follow what you've seen in the movie Big Stan,shoving different objects in your ass doesn't help,neither hitting the toughest guy in the yard,anyway you'll hit the wrong one for sure.

5.Try to make weapons out of any thing, in my case this wouldn't be a problem,I can kill 12 people with a toothpick, a butter knife, and a bullet.

6.Don't act like a smart ass if you aren't one...wait that doesn't sound good...anyways speaking of cookies..

7.Don't break into prison if you menage to escape... like this guy.

Probably I'll make another list of things to avoid in prison...after I experience prison...wait..that wouldn't be cool.



Oh yeah...I would be intelligent not to end up there at all.

Tv Shows:The Boondocks

Based on the comic strip, Huey and Riley move away from the city and out to the suburbs with their irascible grandfather. Biting socio-political commentary ensues.

It actually shows the truth in an ironical way.



I also recommended you watch Crips and Bloods Made in America ...just to open your eyes on reality.

Tomorrow I'll write about things you shouldn't do if you end up in prison.

Insults

I don't really like insulting people...to often...well sometimes it is funny, but that's not the idea,insulting people without a reason isn't OK and it could get you in trouble and in deep shit,properly speaking.

I insult only people which insult me or really piss me off..usually smart asses ...or when I'm really bored .In my opinion when somebody insults you,you shouldn't just stand/run and listen,you should stand up for yourself ...or you could always use a brick,baseball bat etc. and yes I know that insulting each other is gonna bring only trouble.

The thing with insults is that the funnier it is for the others the badder it is for the one you insult.And when you insult somebody try to make them up on the moment because if you use a overrated one nobody is gonna laugh.

Example of insults made in less than 4 seconds when somebody pissed me off.

I hate when somebody says I'm short...a fatso said it.My reaction:
"Well maybe I'm short,but at least I don't have roll over when I have to go somewhere.And the doctor didn't confuse me with."

Somebody said that I have a big nose.
"Well I'm sorry to inform you but before you were born your mother had to change the hospital because when the doctors pulled you out and saw your face,they were so fucking scared that they shoved you right back in your mom's ass."

WARNING! I won't be held responsible for any injuries/deaths which occurred because of this post.teehee.

Summer Vacation is here

At last,the summer vacation is here...no more school,no more waking up early,no more homework...now it's just work at home and probably I'm gonna waste my time at the swimming pool.

I can just smell Freedom...well actually the only thing I smell right now is the rotten food from under my bed and the dirty socks which I can't find.I think the sandwich from under my bed has grown legs...shit it's moving.

Speaking of holidays,the one I had last year was a total disaster ... mainly because it wasn't.I think I spent my whole summer vacation watching movies and TV shows,I've seen all good movies and TV shows since 1990 ,I should start watching Young and Restless then I would have what to do for the next 4 summer vacations.

I hope this year won't happen the same thing.Well theoretically speaking it won't be because I'm gonna visit my grandparents ,practically it will be worse than last year because I don't have anything there,including friends.But at least until I leave I can work on my blog.

I'm getting bored only when I look at this picture.This is how the hallways look at my high school.

Questions over Questions

A list of questions which really make me question myself ... wait..


1.Why does superman wear his underwear over his pants?
If I'm gonna wear my underwear over my pants will I have superpowers?

2.Can you get scared to death?
Once I had a near death experience when I saw my high school,but I didn't die...I think.

3.Why do some folks have an “outie” belly button and some folks have an “innie”?
What influences the shape? The doctor?Our parents?Aliens?!

4.Why do old ladies grow beards?
OK ,OK old ladies grow beards,but why the fuck young ladies grow mustaches.

5.Why are yawns contagious?
In an article examining contagious yawns, Dr. Steven M. Platek and others state, “Contagious yawning may be associated with empathic aspects of mental state attribution and are negatively affected by increases in schizotypal personality traits much like other self-processing related tasks.”
I didn't understand anything ... I'm yawning right now.

6.Do people really have multiple personalities ,like in Sybil ?
That would be interesting,I could have 2 personalities then when I do something bad I'm just gonna blame the other one...wait.

7.How many times can you be shoot and still survive?
If you saw Scarface (if you didn't you'd better watch it) You should remember that at the end of the movie when Tony Montana get shot multiple times but he didn't lose his ability to swear.

8.Do oysters really make you horny?
I don't really find oysters attractive,but it seems that some people can work with that.

9.Is it true that you can break your penis?
Truth hurts guys.So don't pass the weight limit.

10.Why do we have to pee when we hear water dripping?
Nature calling us.

Top 10 Ugliest Celebrities

This is a list of the ugliest celebrities,in my opinion and others opinion.On the internet I saw only Top 18 ,I don't know why somebody would make a top 18 id doesn't sound good.

10.Tori Spelling
An actress which without her fathers help wouldn't be where she is today because of how she looks and her lack of talent.

9.Steven Tyler
Hes more like a zombie than a human, but he's a good singer,and father of one of the beautifulest actress from Hollywood.

I can see a Michael Jackson in him.
8.Ronaldinho
One of the best football players in the world,and he's always smiling despite hes teeth.
7.Amy Winehouse
British singer, she has a beautiful voice,but she started to take drugs and drink a lot of alcohol,their effects are shown on her face.

6.Iggy Pop
Rock artist rock, composer, and sometimes actor aka "Punk God". Punk had a big influence on him in the 80's.

5. Kelly Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne's daughter, she has a funny British accent and sometimes she's funny, but beyond these she is ugly.

4.Marty Feldman
Feldman (1934 -1982) was a British writer, comedian and winner of the BAFTA, well known for his eys.

He has his eyes on you.
3. Donatella Versace
Donatella owns a fashion emporium,but even her money can't make her beautiful.Maybe she should accept the fact that she's old.

2.Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson, a freak which has a strange style of dressing and has a lot of makeup ,with this he managed to became a celebrity and many teenagers see him as an idol.Freaks.

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1. Michael Jackson
You should have know that he's Nr.1 on this list.As you know he was a great black singer until he decided that being white is better and had that surgery,now hes has sink cancer and his nose isn't gonna hold on much more.

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Random Joke Wednesday

1.Cannibals:
Wednesday
Q:Are there vegetarian cannibals?
A:Yes.
Q:what do they eat?
A:Adam's apple.

2.Crazy people:

Two crazy people where sitting outside on a bench in the rain,and one says.

C:hey you have a hole in your umbrella.
C2:Yeah,I know,I want to see when the rain stops.

3.Police:
Why do policemen stay in front of a special need school?
Either it's parents night or it's the 10 year high school reunion.

4.Scottish:

Q:Why don't Scottish people buy refrigerators?
A:Their not sure that the light turns of when they close the door.

5.Jews:

A Jew goes at a butcher to buy some meat:
J:Give me 1 Kg of that fish.
B:But that's not a fish,that's pork.
J:Did I ask you what type of fish it is?

By the way,I made a new mascot.
And I opened a shop on Zazzle,I didn't make any interesting clothes yet.

Compliments which won't get you girls

This is of compliment which for sure won't get you a girl,well it depends it could make them want you, but not in the good way.

1.You're the sexiest thing I've ever seen,but do you know how to wash socks and make food?

2.You look exactly like my mom.

3.My name is John and your name is Abigail Susan Enrique Tom Marie Debby Abelinda del Pizza we are the perfect match.

4.Hey...my name is Timmy,wanna have sex?

5.You remind me of my ex,that's why I love you.

6.You remind me of my girlfriend...she died last year.

7.I'm hot,your not.

8.I love you more than I love me.

9.Do you know what I'd like you to wear?..my hands.


I really don't know other things,I wanted this list to have 10 compliments.