5.31.2009

Gifts

Everybody has to make gifts one in a while...for a birthday,wedding,getting out of prison,your teacher to pass your exams at school or even a "explosive" gift for people you don't like.

The toughest decision is what to buy,I always have this problem,usually when I have to buy a gift for a girl every time either it's a stupid idea or it's to expensive.For men/boys it's easier because I buy what I like and even if I don't get what they like they don't get upset and don't talk to me for the next moths.

But giving gifts isn't such a problem because after you give the gifts it's their problem,the problem is what you get...and the biggest problem is when you don't get anything.I think the only useful gifts I got where from a friend a aftershave and a funny math thing for little kids and from my father a watch and money and from my mother T-shirt which miraculously was good.The lamest gift I ever got was a bouquet of flowers, I mean come on,a bar of chocolate would have been more useful.


You have to click on the drawing to see what I wrote.

They can't see anything

Again as I was looking over the pictures from failblog I found another pictures in which people didn't see the main idea.And yes I know I'm an addict there are 239 pages and around 1434 photos & videos on failblog,I've seen all of them.


Besides the text with "we have smooth shafts and clean balls" you can also see that the place is called "Marie's Golden Cue",so from this I inferred that Marie has smooth shafts and clean balls.NASTY.with a capital A...wait...

5.30.2009

Triple fail

I checked today failblog to see if there was something new and I saw this photo ,after looking at it more closely I observed that it's not a double fail IT'S A TRIPLE FAIL.



1.The man in the Bathtub-mobile,
2.The cops erection,no wonder his wife was cheating on him,
3.And if you look at the man in the back you can see that it looks like he's starting to undress.

Oh yeah and I just added some Google Aids..ads.

10 Things that I really hate

This is a list of things that really piss me off and I'm sure that some of them make you mad too.

1.First of all I hate waking up at early hours,(2)form which resulting the fact that I hate school.

3.I hate finding my fridge empty when I come back from school or practice.

4.I hate being sick.

5.Back stabbers really piss me off.

6.I really hate racists,homosexuals and transvestites.

7.I hate when somebody disturbs me while I'm doing something.

8.I hate smart ass and ignorant people.

9.I don't like stupid politicians.

10.And I hate that I'm not so tall.

But as long as I have Luigi everything is going to be OK.




Luigi says Hi.

5.28.2009

Random Joke Friday

1.Wolf VS. Chick(Chicken baby not those chicks) :

While the wolf was wondering through the wood he find a lonely chick,and then says:
W:Stop right there I'm going to eat you.
The chick answers:
C:No,no please don't eat me,you'll get fat if you eat me,wait here and I'll bring my mom.
C:The chick leaves,and after the wolf can barely see him,the chick shouts:
HAHAHAHA!Sucker! I was born in a incubator.

2.Two Cocks talking(The male chicken you perverts):

C1:Lets go to the grocery store.
C2:Why?There's nothing we can do there.
C3:Don't be stupid,we can see naked chicks there.

3.Next Level
A very skillful game programmer dies and God sends him to hell.A few weeks later the Devil comes desperate at God and says:

D:God,what did I do wrong to deserve such a thing?
G:What?what happened?
D:Remember that programmer you sent me?
G:Yes, I do.
D:He killed all the devils and demons and keeps shouting all day "Where the fuck is the exit to level 2?".

4.Waiter:

W:Miss didn't you see your husband fall under the table?
M:No.Because my husband just entered the restaurant.

5.Fail:

To lovers in the park at night.

1:I love you!
2:Me too.
1:I need you!
2:Me too!
1:By the way my name is John.
2:Mine to.



That's just wrong.

5.27.2009

Summer Vacation Is Coming

At last the Summer Vacation is coming,I waited for this day from the last summer vacation and the most important thing no school for 3 months.

Since the vacation is coming,I started to make plans...first of all I have to find a job,last year I spent my whole vacation trying to find a job and I found one when I had only 3 more weeks on vacation,This year I started to search for a job earlier,but as last year happened I found only lame jobs which I don't really like...I don't want to spend my whole vacation with a shovel in the middle of nowhere or scrubbing public toilets,so I'll probably just stay home and make projects and sell them on Rent A Coder.

The second thing I have to do,is to find a way to access the internet from my grandpa,because in the middle of nowhere,but I can't expect to have internet if I don't even have cable,if I'm going to show a digital camera to somebody there they'll probably think it's a machinery that traps your soul.Lets not talk about the magic box which communicates with the other world through the cable,or the little talking machines which shrink people and trap them in it.
At least there's a good part in all of it,I have plenty of food there.

But the only problem is that I won't be able to post while 'm at my grandparents.

5.26.2009

Surveys

Today at school I had to complete a survey,and since we didn't have to write our name I though why not have fun,well if if my class master sees the survey she's going to recognize my writing and them I'm gonna be pretty much fucked,teehee.

1.Why did you chose this high school ?
-Somebody lied that there are hot chick here,but mainly because my mother completed the paper for the high school in stead of me.

2.What was your first impression?
-"This high school sucks!"

3.How are your classmates in your opinion?And the older ones?
-75% of the pupils are nerds,nothing else to say.

4.How are the teachers in your opinion?
-Their OK,of course I'm not going to say something bad about them.

5.What do you expect from this high school?
-I expect to finish it.

6.How much time do you want to spend between this high school's walls?
-Less than 12 years,if possible.

7.If you were on a deserted island,which are the 3 things you would take with you?
-Tissues,soap and a box of cookies.

8.What activities would you like to do with your teachers and classmates?
-I'd like to play with them Ducks n' Hunters,I want to be the hunter.

9.How did you imagine the high school before coming here?
-How would you imagine hell?

10.Which is the coolest guy/girl in school?
-Me,and if there would be a female version of me ,I would chose her.

11.How should the perfect teacher be like?
-Invisible.

12.If you could change something in the school,what would that be?
-I would turn it into a Nightclub.

13.A question for Escape.(school magazine)
-How bored are you?

14.What would you like to see in the school magazine?
-A porn section.

15.Would you like to join the team?
-Of course...NOT.

Yes, I know I have some writing mistakes,but I to lazy to correct them.

5.24.2009

Stupid Things

Everybody did something stupid in their life,everybody is bound to fail one day.

I,for example,did a lot of stupid things in my life and I'm only 16 years old.From making stupid experiments to poking a bear at the zoo.

It's said that smart people do stupid things...well then I should be really smart,I mean how many people start to calculate the speed needed so that when you bang your head into a door you can go through it...well my calculates weren't correct and I just made a hole in it...but it was a big hole...a bit bigger than the bump on my head...wait....

Or how many people find it interesting to poke a wasp hive,or ride bikes which don't have breaks,and I knew it didn't have breaks,then hit a electricity pole and after that the bike falls over them.

But Hey! at least because of me a new grade was invented in primary school,that grade being X,which is equivalent to a number from this interval (-∞,1).

Well these are some of the stupid thing I did...sooo...What stupid things did you do during your life?


Oh yeah,I looking for ideas how to improve my blog...appearance etc.,so if somebody has an idea ,please share.

Movie of the week - Pink Panther 2

Last week I didn't recommend a movie because I didn't see a interesting one,but this week I watched Pink Panther 2 it's a comedy about how inspector Jacques Clouseau teams up with a squad of International detectives who are just as bumbling as he is. Their mission: Stop a globe-trotting thief who specializes in stealing historical artifacts.

I also recommend you watch the other 10 movies too :

1.The Pink Panther -1963
2.A Shot in the Dark -1964
3.Inspector Clouseau -1968
4.The Return of the Pink Panther -1975
5.The Pink Panther Strikes Again -1976
6.Revenge of the Pink Panther - 1978
7.Trail of the Pink Panther -1982
8.Curse of the Pink Panther -1983
9.Son of the Pink Panther -1993
10.The Pink Panther -2006

5.23.2009

I think that hurts

Yesterday a friend (Visit) gave me a website with funny but also sad X-ray,I saw there a few X-ray that really intrigued me.

1.Drill bit

An 18-inch drill bit pierces a man’s eye…well I don't really know how that man managed to reach this performance.I imagined a funny dialog between him and the doctor.

The man with the drill bit in his head enters the doctors room,and falls down bleeding.
M:"Doctor I need help!"
D:"What seems to be the problem?"
M:"A freakin' drill bit pierced my head"
D:"Interesting...hmmm...go on"
M:"...."
D:"I'll just write you down a headache prescription...that should do the trick."



2.Dangerous butter knife

This is an eleven year old boy with a butter knife lodged in his head.Hard to believe,but yes,butter knifes are dangerous weapons...so from now on when you make a sandwich use something that doesn't have round edges...you never know when you're gonna stab yourself with it.If the butter knife can do that....imagine what a plastic knife could do or a plastic fork....let's not talk about the spoon.

5.21.2009

Expect the unpredictable...or something like that

Well during my life some unexpected thing happens,well there weren't really unexpected because considering my...not so big amount of luck I know that any thing could happen in any moment ,or it's bound to happen one day,but at least I'm not alone people keep failing every day.

Here is a list of some things that could happen to anybody,and of course you won't see them coming:

-If you're planing to cheat on your girlfriend/wife,always wear a bulletproof vest when you go home,because if she catches you,there are only to possibilities:either you could get stabbed (if you're lucky) or you could get shot.(put on fire,hit by a car,abducted by aliens etc.)

-If you have a bad day , and you buy a bread roll with chocolate filling,don't expect to find any chocolate in it.(this one happened to me)

-If you check the road and there aren't any cars passing by,when you cross the road there is a 90% chance to get hit by a car when you cross.

-If you menage to avoid the first car another one will come,and if you avoid this one to or it stops right in front of you probably a old man on a bicycle is going to hit you.(in my case the two cars were enough)

-Expect a flying cow shit to fall on your head and paralyze you.(this one is a real story)

-Expect karma to be a b**** when everything goes well.

-Expect your printers cartridge to be empty when you really need to print something,even if you just filled it.(this happened to me...five minutes ago)

If you have other things which happened to you and you didn't see them coming,leave a comment with them...you know..just in case.


"Perfect" day:The washing machines revenge

It started as an ordinary Wednesday, I woke up, washed got dress for school then I went back to sleep,because I slept less than 2 hours...usually my mom wakes me up after I go back to sleep,around 7 am, and then takes me to school,but today I had to go to the doctor for to leave some blood samples,so she didn't wake me up because my appointment was at 8 am,so without anybody to wake me up I woke up around 9 am and because I missed my appointment I had to wait in line...a really long line.

When finally it was my turn,when the nurse stuck me with the syringe to take blood,I don't know wtf she did,but it hurt like hell,it was something like this:
Me:"Fuck!"
Nurse:"Does it hurt?"
Me:"No,it's quite pleasant...Of course it hurts"

After I finished with all the blood testing I finally went home so I could go sleep, at least I didn't have to go to school,when I changed in my pijamas and went into bed,I started to hear birds,I thought it was from outside,but the sounds continued and when I went upstairs,I saw a nestling hopping around the room,I was like "WTF?", it fell from the attic through a hole in the wall where the ladder had to be ,so I took a chair and risked my ass to put that bird back in it's nest ,of course I fell of the chair after I put it back.

Then I went back to bed and to make the day perfect when my mom came back from work and took out the clothes from the washing machine the following conversation took place:

Mom:"Sam,do you remember that white T-shirt,that white pair underwear and socks?"
Me:"Yes,whats with them?"
Mom:"Well...their a bit...aaa..."
Me:"Pink?...why ain't I surprised?"

Do you have perfect days so often?

5.18.2009

The Earth Is Flat

Today I found an article in which I read that a group of scientists proved that the Earth is flat...

This group is called Flat Earth Society,how fucked up can somebody be,these people must have been really bored,I mean I get bored sometimes but I don't start proving that something so obvious is scientifically wrong.
"The Earth is, more or less, a disc," states James McIntyre,yea and it was probably thrown by God when he was playing Frisbee.
The moon landings? Faked, said the flat-Earthers. Satellite images of the Earth? Fake, fake, fake.Of course their fake wouldn't you waste the governments money to hide the fact that the Earth is round from the whole freakin' world,you know just for the fun?

And if what their trying to prove is true,then I suggest you lower the speed when you're near the edge because you don't want to fall of Earth.

Imagine what would happen if everybody would start things like this,tomorrow I could start a new group called "The Balloon Earth",and I could scientifically prove that the Earth is just a balloon filled with helium and that's why it's floating and we're not just falling until we're gonna hit the bottom of the Universe,and the end of the world will be when God's son will come and start poking the earth with a gigantic stick until it blows up.

And probably we aren't even humans the government just gave us some indestructible elastic costumes when we were born,only few managed to get rid of that costume Michael Jackson,Marilyn Manson ,and there aren't women or men,were just a bunch of hermaphrodites,sex is just for entertainment.

Original article:http://www.hockeyforum.com/hockeyforum-chit-chat/50207-believers-flat-earth-not-about-change-minds.html

30 Reasons that make me proud to be a man

30 Reasons that make me proud to be a man..teenager,OK boy...but I'm still a man.
This is a list of 30 things than will make any man proud of himself,girls please don't fell offended.

15 Reasons for which you want to be a man:

1.We can eat a banana without somebody thing at stupid things.Well almost everybody.
2.For a week's vacation we need only one suitcase.
3.80% less time spent in the bathroom.
4.Our ass or cleavage isn't the judge during an interview.
5.We're rewarded for any intelligent thing we do.
6.Three pairs of shoes are enough.
8.A bride dress is around 2000$,to rent a wedding suit you need only 50$.
10.We can buy a condom without the pharmacist thinking how we look naked.
11.We can visit a friend without giving him a gift.
12.We don't care about others feelings.
13.Everything on our face has natural color.
14.We're ready for anything in 10 minutes.
15.We can watch how a mutant crush a fluffy dog in a movie.

15 Reasons why its wonderful to be a man:

1.We don't carry everywhere a purse full of crap.
2.If you're criticized at work you don't think that everybody hates you in secret.
3.None of your colleges isn't capable of making you cry.
4.We can wear a white T-shit in places where we could get wet.
5.We can participate at a belching contest without feeling bad because of what we'd done.
6.We go at toilets alone,not in pairs or in a group.
7.We don't have to clean the apartment/house every time somebody visits us.
8.We don't have to admire Bruce Willis,and the starve to death to look like him.
9.We know more than 20 ways to open a beer.
10.We can watch TV for hours with a friend without thinking "Is he mad at me?".
11.If somebody forgets to invite us at a special event he's still our friend.
12.If somebody goes at a party with the same blouse as ours,we still talk to that person.
13.We have Chuck Norris on our side.
14.Our telephonic conversations end in less than 60 seconds.
15.Luis Miguel, Ricky Martin, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt aren't part of our universe, their just a bunch of fags.

5.17.2009

Odd Habits

Everybody has a habit which they can't explain why they have it,so I made this list of habits which are a bit odd in my opinion.

Habits which are related to food:

-Some people like to eat food their food in alphabetical order...so they wake up ,they go the the fridge,take everything out and start putting it in alphabetical order,even if their starving they can't eat before there in a correct order, but what if they didn't go at school and and are uneducated.

-Other people don't like to eat the last bite,in Romanian people eat their hands to.

-If putting your food in alphabetical order isn't enough,people start arranging the food in their plate in sexual positions,in case people and animal don't pleasure them.

Other strange habits:

-Well a habit I have is that I always disassemble electronic things,for no reason,I like to see whats inside them.It might be because I'm half Arab so the destruction instincts is in my blood.I also like to crash planes.

-Some people can't sleep if the bed isn't made up,I don't see the reason because anyway you're gonna mess it up again.

Do you have strange habits?

5.16.2009

Cloning

Well cloning is a scientific discovery which gives scientists a lot of headaches, because it's not as easy as it sounds...wait...it doesn't even sound easy.It's not like what you see in movies, when a mad scientist puts a dog in a huge shinny thingy with a lot of light and which has a lot of smoke around it and then a clone appears in another thingy like that...well I think it's something like that.

It's interesting that they managed to clone sheep,but they didn't menage to find out how to clone humans...I mean,whats the difference?

Just think of the possibilities,there could be two of me,or even a army,I could invade the Moon and start a new civilization,there would be real Clone Wars...until the clone start fighting each other over stupid things like pushing the BIG RED BUTTON :
Sam 1:"And now it's time yo pus the button"
Sam 123:"Wait,why do you get to push the button?"
Sam 1:"Because I'm the real one and you're the clone."
Sam 3245:"Wait I'm the real one he's the clone"
Sam 1:"Maybe,but I'm sexier than you."
Timmy:"Food fight!"
Sam's:"Who the fuck is Timmy?"

This would sound better in a vlog,should I start one?

5.14.2009

Joke of the week

A man comes from work,tired and not in the mood,but as he was climbing the stairs to his apartment he sees a very hot blond that asks him:

"Do you want to have sex with me or do you want to succeed?"
the man walks around thinking and says :"I want to succeed!"

He continues climbing the stairs and reaches the next floor,where he sees on the stairs two hot chicks,a blond and a brunet,which asked him :

"Do you want to have sex with us,or do you want to succeed?"
The man started sweating,and thought for a hour what to do then finally he said :
"I'm sorry girls,but tonight I want to succeed!"

He again continues to climb the stair and surprisingly after he opened the door from his apartment he find himself in a bedroom with a black man,with the biggest dick he ever saw,and then he asked frightened:

"W..Who..Who are you?"
The black man smiles and answers him happy:

"HELLO! I am Seed!"

Sometimes it's better not to succeed in life.

5.13.2009

Reincarnation

First of all,what is reincarnation?Because today I met 2 people which didn't know what it means.It's something like that robot in Terminator does,but if you die,your soul will reborn in something else.

If I could chose what to be reborn,I would chose to be a tree...or not,because then I'll have squirrels and woodpeckers making holes in my behind,but It would be interesting if I could combine insects and animals...I would be Butter-Bee, you know "Fly like a butterfly,sting like a bee",or I could be a "merman" and then I could...eat fish..and stuff...

But if you can't chose in what to reincarnate you could and up in a unpleasant situation,for example you could reincarnate in a chicken,at least you have the chance to die honorable being eaten by somebody at KFC,it would be interesting to reincarnated in a crowbar from time to time you would break into cars,break peoples heads...at least it would be more useful that to be a Michal Jackson or a Marilyn Manson..it wouldn't be interesting to look like him/her/it.

5.12.2009

Romania VS. England

Even if Romania isn’t considered such a well developed country, Bucharest is considered to be a cosmopolitan city, Romanians are like a dry sponge, they collect foreign habits even if their good or bad. So if somebody comes from another country he might be surprised to find almost everything like in his country, except for his car,if he doesn’t pay attention at it he won’t find it at all.

Romania like England is a Christian country, so both celebrate Christmas and Eastern, but Romania didn’t have international celebrations, so they adopted some, such as Valentine’s Day, Halloween ,Oktoberfest and so on…soon will come Hanuka, Kwanzaa and The Gay Parade (Cocalar Parade). British people just adopted the large midday meal followed by a two or three hour siesta, which they call “wank”, how can somebody call something wank … it sounds gay…well it is Britain were talking about .And they always have a tea around 5-6 pm.
Dialog between 2 British people:
“What are you doing?”
“Just enjoying my tea after I had my wank.”
“Oh, jolly good”

Oh yeah “wank” means a totally different thing in American English, I suggest you Google it when your parent aren’t near you.Hey I found something that rimes with wank, spank I told you they were gay.

England in comparison with Romania is a more civilized country. Romanians are people that like to party all day, if there is loud music it’s good, if there’s a lot of food it’s perfect and are well known for the Moonshine (tuica in Romanian) which is a restricted alcoholic drink in other countries, while British people don’t have such “wild” parties, but are known for the football hooligans, at least something keeps them not being totally gay.

As for work and traffic I’m sure that in both countries is the same thing, people wake up in the morning, drive 1-2 km in 3 hours, swear hardly (although I think Romanians have more courses than any nation in the world), usually are late for work , the they stay 6-8 hours or more at work, and finally before ending the day everybody goes out for a drink or home for a good night’s sleep.

5.10.2009

Religion

I'm half Muslim,but I don't really understand whats with this religion,I just believe that there is "Somebody" up there controlling everything.Because if you think about it there are so many types of religions that appear over night,that one day were all going to pray to the Almighty Fork.

Being half Muslim I have a lot of opportunities,not really but I like to think positive,for example I can have many wives,so if I have 20 when one divorces from me will take half of my things,the the other 19 will do the same thing,and the last to will fight over a nickel.
Or you can stay married with them,think that if you buy a expensive thing for one of them ,all of them will want the same thing.Or just imagine what will happen if you're having sex with one and you say another one's name.In this case being a bachelor doesn't sound so bad.

And from what I understood from my father,Muslim consider that having a cross in your house or anywhere is considered a sin ... well then imagine a Muslims face when he enters a christian graveyard.

Another funny thing about religions is how other nationalities understand that religion ,for example Buddhism has Buddha,which in Romania is understood as "buda"
which means toilet,so a not so intelligent Romanian might understand that Buddhists pray to the toilet,and somebody might find him praying one day in front of it.

I don't really know other funny thing about religion,besides that Hindus pray to cows.

If you know other funny things in religions, please share.


5.09.2009

Movie of the Week Bruce Almighty

It's a very interesting comedy about a guy who always complained about the fact that God never helps him,and one day he was given almighty powers to see how hard it is to run the whole world.
Well I always complained about that and nobody gave me almighty powers.

Bruce Nolan as Jim Carrey
God as Morgan Freeman

Things you SHOULDN'T do in life

A few thing which you shouldn't do in life,not because it will kill you(yes they will), but to make your life easier and you can even save a lot of money.

1.Don't smoke cigarettes,their to expensive,use hookah it's cheaper if you buy it only once,and the tobacco isn't so expensive,it tasted better to.


2.Don't get married to early,you're going to regret that later.(1-2 weeks after you get married.)

3.Don't eat things you don't know what are made of,or food which is made in a not so populated area,I'm sure that rats don't taste la chicken,or do they?

4.Never sit on the toilet before you check if there still is toilet paper,because you might end up in a "shitty" situation.



5.Don't get drunk with valuable stuff at you if you're alone,or with other people which are bound to get drunk like you,because then when you wake up and you don't have anything beside you're underwear on,you're gonna want to get drunk again.

I can't think of other things,but if you have other suggestions please share them.

5.08.2009

Desperate For Publicity

Many people are desperate for publicity,they always want to be in the center of attention and many of then don't realize that many people are attracted to their stupidity not their style,well in Romania people are attracted by their style.

For example a TV station from Romania called OTV (I think the O comes from zero), broadcast last night a "live show" in which they were talking with Ceausescu's spirit...WTF?...but wait the fun part is that many people really liked that and believed in that stupidity,I mean come on...what kind of stupid people would enjoy such a show.But considering that 90% of Romanian people are st....aren't so smart,they gathered a lot of views.

But not only the TV station are desperate after attention,for example Madonna,after she sow that nobody listens anymore to her music she started to adopt children from Malawi,yey now there only 999999 children,starving and in the world..happy day.

Oh and lets not forget about Britney Spears with her famous drug test fails and her epic wardrobe malfunctions.But I don't think she did them on purpose but it's a good way to make publicity,not a good one,but it is publicity.

I admit that sometimes I really get a head ache because I don't know how to make views on my blog,I even made a banner form my hi5,I should go in Somalia and adopt a child,at least they don't eat much,or tattoo the blogs link on my whole body and start running naked in town.

Just imagine the articles which will be written on the first page of the news pappers.

"Area 51.1 owner gets a 2+1 pack of kids from Somalia!Visit his Blog!"
"Amazing!Area 51.1 owner has a tattoo with his blog,besides the ones with Elvis and a pizza on his buttocks"

That would be interesting.

Do you know other TV stations or celebrities which are desperate for attention?

5.06.2009

How to avoid problems at school

I made this list,with what I heard and what I realized that I can do,of things that people can do to avoid problems at school.And I also have some tips about how to get good grades easy.

-First of all for example when you start high school,make a good impression,don't be a smart ass with your colleges and your head teacher.

-In the first days don't let anybody pick on you because then their gonna pick on you every day for the next 3 years.

-To get good grades easy you can help the teachers,with anything,if a teacher asks for help be the first one to go and help.

-If the teacher says something wrong,don't correct them,it's like the market rule but with teachers instead of customers "The teacher is always right.".Because if you correct the you might get a bad grade,it depends on the teacher.

-And the easiest way to avoid problems at school,well..just skip school not to many weeks because then your parents will find out,and sleeping in the park on a bench won't be cool.

-Oh,and before going to school don't drink milk and eat cherry's,which I did now, because the chemical reaction in your stomach won't be quite...pleasant,and you might sped your whole day on the toilet.But HEY! at least you won't go to school.

Other suggestions about how to avoid problems at school?

Random joke day

Police:

1.Tow police men were talking:
-Why do you tell your child to sleep on the wardrobe?
-Because last time he fell of the bed I didn't hear him.

2.Q:Why don't policemen die when you shout then in the head?
A:Because they don't have any vital organs there.

Timmy:

3.Timmy,what would you like write on your grave?
-Something simple,not to long.
-Like what?
-Be right back.

4.Somalians:

Q:How many Somalians can get on a bus?
A:All of them.

Q: How many Somalians are there in Somalia?
A: Approximately 5,5 kg.

Q:how do Somalians salute each other?
A:What wind brings you here?

5.05.2009

Strange FOOD:Resurrection of the Sushi

In my last post about food I wrote more about how to avoid eating what you don't like and now I'm gonna show you what thing you really shouldn't eat.

1. Ox Penis:

In Western countries, Ox Penis is usually dried and sold as dog treats,but as stupid as many people are their thinking "Hey if my dog can eat it,why can't I? I mean he is my best friend."

2.Caterpilla Fungus:

Caterpilla Fungus is a species of parasitic fungus that grows on insect larvae. The fungus invades the body of the Thitarodes caterpillars, eventually killing and mummifying it.This is what bird brains eat.

3.Rats:

Imagine this...A man waking up in the morning ,going in his kitchen,checking the rat trap and if a rat is trapped in it he takes it and puts it in the oven near the dog and cat.Any way it tastes like chicken.

4.Monkeys Brains:

Well at least their bigger that the eaters brain.Aren't they afraid that the monkey if going to wake up and stab then with the fork? or maybe it could start moon walking on the table.

5.Spiders:

So if you run out of food just search for spiders on your wall and in less than 5 minutes you can have them fried and served.

Other suggestions about disgusting food?


You're going to end up like this guy if you keep eating monkeys

5.04.2009

Online Games

Online games are the perfect way to waste time at computer classes and at home when you want to do anything but your homework.

Some of them are really addictive and you're going to end up playing that all day long, I know this from my experience,I played 4 years a game called Rune Scape ,and Counter Strike which I'm still playing.

But there are a few games which can make you waste a lot of money,like Battle Knight, Bite Fight and other games like these,recently I found a new game which I think is really addictive My brute( this is my account click and make a Brute and see how addictive it is).But at least you can fight only 3 time per day.

!WARNING!Many game shouldn't be played because you'll lose contact with reality and you're gonna dream to be a god damned elf or warlock,but warlocks aren't fat enough to role over until they get to school or have more acne's than a pig(do pigs have acne's?.

Do you know other addictive games?





Now that's aaaa......shitty situation.

5.03.2009

Movie of the Week Crank 2:High Voltage

Crank 2 is in my opinion funnier that the previous one,even if it's a action movie,so in my opinion it's a movie worth watching.

Plot via IMDB: Chelios(Jason Statham) faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.

5.01.2009

I don't know

"I don't know" is the answer we give when we really don't know what to answer, when we don't want somebody to know something,when we're so bored that we can't think at an answer or we just like to make someone mad.

Examples of "I don't Know" answers:

-I don't know what I'm doing.

-I don't know who that woman was,I swear I didn't meet her yesterday,shit.

-I don't know how that weed grown in my pocket.

-I don't know where my homework is,I think my cat ate it.

-I don't know what to buy.(women use it a lot)

-Q:Have you seen my things?
A:Maybe,I don't know.
Q:(the guy who asked) Damn you!.

-I don't know what to do.

-I don't know what to do with my life.

And first of all I don't know why I wrote this post.

What "I don't know" answer do you always use?

Random joke day

I.Alcohol Problems:

Q:Afraid That you're going to put on weight if you drink a lot of beer?
A:Try drinking whiskey or vodka before drinking beer and you won't be afraid anymore.

II.Truth about nutrition problems:

1.Japanese consume food with low fat and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.
2.Mexicans consume food with high fat and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.
3.Chinese don't drink so much red wine and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.
4.Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.
5.Germans drink a lot of beer and eat all kinds of sausages and fat,and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.

Conclusion :

You can drink and eat anything you want.It seems that speaking English kills you.

III.Drunk man at a trial:

At a very boring trial,when everybody almost fell asleep, a drunk man shouted at the Judge:

-Kiss my ass!
-Outside! yelled the Judge,at which the man answered:
-NoooooOO! Here,so everybody can see it!