How to escape from a date/meeting

Many time's you're going to find yourself at a date/meeting with nothing to do and you just want to escape,but just don't know how.But there always is a way to escape you just need imagination.

1.Date:

You can always stand up an leave but that might get you stabbed ,hit with the plate,soup in your pants and so on...to avoid all these you can just eat some onion or garlic before you go on a date,you can say any word and she/he is gonna leave,that or she/he is gonna faint,either ways you win.

Or you can be a complete asshole:talking with your mouth full,fart,start talking about grouse things.

Say that you want to go to the toilet and escape through the window.

2.Meeting:

Be late and they won't even let you in.

Or starts complaining about anything other people say.

Sleep during the meeting...well if you do this you could get fired,but HEY! you don't have to go at another boring meeting again.