Idols

I think everybody had an idol when they were small or they still have one now.From which resulting the clothes you're waring or they way you look (only if you chose Michael Jackson as an idol).

For example my idol when I was a kid was Eminem and I still like his music,I listen to rap music since I was 5 years,now I don't have a idol but I kept the way how I dress ,XL and larger.

At children you have to be careful what cartoons you let them watch because if they chose Power Rangers,Superman or other character which can fly as an idol,you'll find them like I found My brother once with his blanket as a cape,with strange drawings on his face,underwear on his head ,his booth as gloves and he always wants to fight.At least he didn't wear his underwear over his pants.

Even if you're a teenager you still should chose a idiot as an idol pr if you do keep it for yourself.

People which you shouldn't chose as an idol:

1.If you're from Romania,please don't chose Nikita as an idol because she is way under a she male,she's more like a "she whale" and I'm sure that her IQ is under the limit of complete stupidity.

2.Michael Jackson,well things changed from the 80's,even if before he was a successful Pop, R&B, rock, soul singer ,now he's just a man that likes to much children,a ghost(properly speaking),but he still has the moon walk.

3.Marilyn Manson you shouldn't chose him/her/it at an idol because....well just because..I mean like DAMN! look at him/her/it.


These are the only ones I have in mind...if you know other people which shouldn't be chosen as a idol leave a comment.

Joke of the day

Once upon a time when sewage's weren't a "fashion" a lady from England wanted to visit Germany.She had reserved a room at a local hotel which was in the family.
Te lady was preoccupied by her future room,if it had a toilet (WC-Water Closet).

She wrote a letter to the manager of the hotel asking him if it has a WC.The manager wasn't so good at English so he asked the local priest what does WC means.

So after talking 2 hours about what could WC mean,they reached the conclusion that it meant Wayside Chapel (WC).

So they concluded that the lady wanted to know if the chapel is near or far away from the hotel.So the manager sent her the following answer.

" Dear Madame,

I can tell you with great pleasure that the WC is situated at 9 miles away from the hotel,with a capacity of 200 persons and it's opened only Thursdays and Sundays.

Because during the summer it's very crowded ,I suggest you come earlier,but even if you can't come earlier there is plenty of space for standing.

I know that this is a unpleasant situation if you're not used to walking a lot.

I can tell you something that could rise you're interest:
-It's the place where my daughter met her husband.And they got married in the same place,I remember how people used to fight for places,there were 10 people on a spot.

It was extraordinary to see the expressions on their faces.

-I think you would like to know that many people bring their lunch there and spend their whole afternoon there.

-the acoustics are very impressive ,the most delicate sound can be heard.
-the newest acquisition is the bell that ring when somebody enters.

My wife was sick so she wasn't able to go there.After a few days it's a year since she didn't go to the WC,thing which causes her a lot of pain.

It will be my pleasure to reserve a spot for you where everybody can see you,and it will e my pleasure to take you there.

Yours faithfully,
Hotel Manager. "

This post was realized with help from a friend "R@du 2Horses"

Interesting Facts

I made a selection of interesting facts from many of the strange facts which you can find on the internet, which I think are interesting...to interesting.

-First of all if you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
Just think of the possibilities,now I know why Osama Bin Laden wasn't found yet,he's just sitting in a hidden place and eating burritos and farting all day,probably in 2012 he's going to finish farting,and all mankind will be extinct by his farts.

-An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
If ostriches would be the only ones like that.

-Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
How can a donkey kill a person?...well there is a way,but I can't say it it's to disgusting.(don't try to rape a donkey)

-Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Don't try this at home.

-Elephants are the only animals that can't jump...I wonder why.

-Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Yea,now I know why I lost weight when I started high school.



As I said before...ostriches aren't alone.

Which are you're favorite strange facts?

What dreams do you have when you sleep?

All of us dream when we sleep,but usually in the morning we can't remember what we dreamed about,or sometimes we remember it so well that we think it really happened, scientists still didn't menage to fully understand the biologically purpose and content of dreams.

Well I had a lot of dreams,from fighting aliens on Mars to suddenly finding myself naked in class during a test.In my opinion these are the results of my imagination or things that stress me during the day.

The most common dreams which I'm sure everybody had are :
-When you're falling ,and when you're just about to hit the ground you wake up,I hate that dream;

-Or when you think you're drowning but you just have you're pillow over you're face;

-When you're flying;

-Situations relating to school,failing a exam or something like that;

-Another strange dream is when you're running from something in slow motion,or in a endless hall;

-Near-death experiences,scary;

-Once I dreamed I was running on a rainbow...that was more like a near-gay experience;

What kind of dreams do you have?

Movie Of The Week: Public Enemy Number One

Bam! One of the highlights of this year's Alliance Francaise French Film Festival is the explosive blockbuster "Public Enemy Number One", a two part biography of notorious French gangster, Jacques Mesrine.




Sorry for the subtitles

Cartoons

I sure that everybody watched cartoons when they were kids,since they where invented,but a lot of people say that only little kids watch cartoons,that's not true I'm almost 17 and I still like cartoons.

When I was little I liked Tom & Jerry,Sponge Bob,Scooby Doo ,well I kinda liked everything from Hannah Barbera (RIP Joseph Barbera) and Looney Tunes and I still like them.
Some reasons for children to watch the old cartoons:

-I for example learned English from the cartoons when i was little, because then there weren't any translations.Now I can't find cartoons in English on TV , I'm talking about Romania.
-It develops their imagination.
-It keeps then busy while you have to do something.

Nowadays children don't learn anything from cartoons, for example my little brother likes Power Rangers ... the only thing that he larned from those cartoons is to wear his underwear on his head and his blanket as a cape,oh yeah and the shoes as gloves.

Do you still watch cartoons?


This is what's going to happen if you don't.

"Perfect" day :Return of the FAIL

Well as I said in a previous post ,"Perfect" day,everybody has a "perfect" day once in a while,but it seems i have them to often.

Friday,the night before - My mom told me that she had to go at a conference in Bucharest,and she's going to send my brother to his grandmother,so I'm going to be alone 1-2 days.Obviously I was happy that I'm going to be alone.
"When everything goes right,something must be wrong" -one of Murphys laws.

In the morning - Somebody called me at 7 Am,damn it it was 7 Am who calls Sundays at 7 am. Until I managed to open my eyes the phone stopped ringing ,so I went back to sleep,after half an hour when I finally managed to fall asleep my mother called to see what I doing....What could I possibly be doing at 7:30 Am.After I talked with her I couldn't go back to sleep so I watched cartoons till 12 Pm,just wasting time.

Lunch - After doing nothing 4 hours, I got hungry so I went to eat something,I though my mother left me something to eat,obviously not.So I started to make food, I started to fry some eggs and toast some bread,during this I went to look for something and I forgot the eggs on the oven and the bread in the toaster....just imagine what happened.So I preferred to eat some sandwiches,to avoid setting the house on fire.

Then I saw that it was already 3 I was bound to be late for practice,so I left in a hurry and forgot my wallet home,I realized that only when the tram controller caught me without my pass ...the same controller which caught me without it last week to. So until I convinced him that I have one and I forgot it home,I was to late for practice resulting with push ups.

When I finally got home tired,dejected and mad a friend called me an told me she waited for me 2 hours,flashback,I remembered that I told her to met me at 5 ,facepalm, then she closed the phone and didn't talk to me 2 days.

Night - I went to make a bath,after all that happened I needed to relax,so after I started to wash my self the phone rung ,"When you're alone home,and you're having a bathe,the phone will ring" -Murphys law..First I ignored it but the person kept insisting so I grabbed a towel and ran to answer, hurrying I slipped and fell on my back,and when I finally found the phone it stopped ringing.It was my mom again,I think she did it on purpose.

After this I went to sleep as I did last time when I had a "perfect day",to avoid anything else to happen.


Have you ever had such a day?

Weird Things Around The World

These are in my opinion the weirdest things & events that the world has ever seen.

1. Shrunken Heads :
I mean like...DAMN!I wouldn't like to be in their place.

2. Andrew Cross created life :
In Crosse's electrical experiments, he was supposedly attempting to create glass crystals.The crystals weren't made but he observed side effects,some sort of white lumps,he continued his experiment and after a week he noticed that the lumps were growing hand like extensions .


Ugly little bastards.

3. U.S.S. Cyclops :
The earliest recorded disappearance of a United States vessel occurred in 1918, when the U.S.S. Cyclops vanished. It was first thought that this vessel was torpedoed. A search of German records after the war proved she wasn’t torpedoed. Then it was thought she had struck a mine. It was later shown that there were no mines in the area. In addition, there would have been enough time (if it had struck a mine) to send an S.O.S. and get a lifeboat ready. The Navy said that this is the most puzzling mystery of all time. They are still looking for this ship today.





4. Bermuda Triangle:
The Bermuda Triangle is one of the great mysteries of the world. Many ships and planes have mysteriously disappeared in this area for hundreds of years. To find the Bermuda Triangle, start at Norfolk, Virginia, go west to the Bermuda Islands, south to San Juan, Puerto Rico, and then east to Miami, Florida. That area is known as the Bermuda Triangle.


5. Michale Jackson :
Once upon a time he was a human.

Now the only thing that he has left is the moon walk.


Do you have other suggestions?What is the weirdest thing you've ever seen?

Dreams

I'm not talking about the dreams we have when we sleep,but of the dreams we have in real life (nightmares).Everybody has a dream,something that the want to be , a special place were to go.
If you don't have a dream you don't have any reason to live,you won't realize anything.

In my opinion it's better to have more that one dream during your life,because if you have only one and when you're 30 year and you don't menage to fulfill it you're going to start throwing things out the window . But even if you have a lot of dreams,to fulfill them you have to work hard.For example Martin Luther King Jr. with his "I have a dream speech,and with all his great achievements managed to change all our lives.

But not everybody has dreams like M.L. King Jr.,here are some dreams a few people which I met what to fulfill:

-poke Michael Jackson;
-climb Mount Everest;
-become a terrorist;
-become a famous prostitute (what?)
-skydive
-find Elvis

What dreams do you have?

Food

In life we eat a lot of different types of food,some are good but many not.When we eat something that isn't good we usually eat it because we're forced to eat it,or it's necessary to eat it and food that we like is either to expensive or it affects our health (magic mushrooms are good).

I'll give you some tips about how to avoid eating things that you don't like:

-if you have a dog , he should at about anything.

-if you're invited at a diner,you have to eat because if you don't you won't make a good impression, just hold your breath and swallow,or eat the go and throw up.(nasty)

-if you go at a restaurant don't order things that you don't know what they are,once I did that and I think that "thing" was still moving,damn.

-the classics way to get rid of a drink,throw it in a vase , if you're at a picnic it's easier just.

In my opinion French ,Chinese and Indian people have the strangest types of food.How can somebody eat a freaky n dog or cat ,or once I saw a table full of food made out of insects.

If you have more tips about how to avoid eating what we don't want leave a comment with it.

School Breaks

Any kid likes school breaks,well there are some that don't like them...but that doesn't matter,because of their high level of "No lifeness" their never seen.

So coming back to the subject,everybody likes school breaks,teachers especially.
But when the school break comes,everybody is bored,nobody wants to do anything,and while we were going to school everybody said that they want a break,that they wanted to go for a walk or in town to drink something instead of staying at school.
Although if they want to come,the second problem appears,MONEY.When I have money they don't have,when they have money I don't have,I hate when this happens.This should be added in Murphy's laws.

And now after one week of doing nothing,school starts and I didn't do nothing interesting the whole Eastern break,at least I slept enough to stay awake for the next two weeks,which is a good thing considering that the final exams are coming.

I wonder what I'm going to do in the Summer Break,probably I'm going to go work somewhere,and at the end of the day when I get my money,I'm going to go and spend it on useless things or in clubs or sleep all day.

Movie Of The Week: How High

I like this movie, it’s about two men Silas P. Silas(Method Man) and Jamal King( Redman ) who managed to go at Harvard by cheating at a test.

This is kind of how I and a friend went the best high school in Timisoara, now we wish we hadn’t copied at those exams. Ain’t that a b****.

Doctors

Everybody hates doctors,even though they help us,it doesn't matter what kind of doctor you're going at:
-dentist(these are the worst I'm still afraid of them),
-family practitioners(you usually go at them when you need medicine),
-neurology(brain doctors,don't worry they can't see how smart you are),
-radiology(these are funny because they let you see the X-ray scans),
I think you got the point,were always afraid about whats going to happen.

There area a few ways to avoid going at them,but only for a few days because you'll still end up at them.

If you have to go at a dentist eat onion,garlic anything that makes your breath stink, surely he's going to change your appointment.

If you have to go for a blood test,just eat something before going,and tell the doctor that you ate,he can't test your blood if you ate,but this only saves you for a day ,because if you keep doing this every time they'll think you're an idiot an send you to a psychologist.

I'd prefer to be operated in stead of taking injections,a least when you're operated you're under anesthetics.

And remember never go at a doctor which gives you candy,or looks like Einstein,you might wake up after three days with four arms or three feet.

Bad jokes

Well everybody makes a bad joke once in a while,unfortunately some people make them too often....

When somebody makes a bad joke only two things can happen:

1. Everybody makes fun of that person.

2. Everybody looks at that person and doesn’t say anything, and probably that person tries to fix what he did, without luck in most of the cases.

But it’s OK it can happen to anybody,don't go home and start cutting your self.

It;s not OK if you're a stand up comedian,people will probably throw with vegetables at you( if you don't have money for food this is a good way to get your groceries if you're lucky you might get a pair of shoes too).

But life isn't always that easy,people will probably want their money back,so if you're on the stage and you're the only person who can give their money back,if you aren't in good shape you're chances of survival are under 5%.

But there are a few stupid jokes which make people laugh(of the joke not you),for example.

Two birds stay on a branch,one says to the other "Watch out I'm going to push you",and she pushed her.

Two pancakes were walking through the desert,one trips and drops it's marmalade.

But you have to say them in a funny way,it doesn't matter how bad the joke is,the thing is how you say it.

Things you shouldn't/should do when you're on a trip

The following suggestion I'm going to make aren't only from me ,but from a lot of friends which did these mistakes.

1.Well first of all,you should buy a map your gona need it,because if you start asking people you might get lost ,and check what map you bought because last time I want on a trip my grandfather bought a map with Europe and we needed one for Romania,of course we realized that after we got lost.

2.Take food with you,because you never know where you'll end up staying,a friend ate only tomatoes and cheese three days because there weren't any shops near the camp so he bought what he found at people selling by the street.

3.If you go at the mountains,don't go like you're going at the beach,like I did.Be prepared for anything that could happen.

4.If you stay at a hotel,don't bring prostitutes because there is a 99% chance that when you'll wake up you won't have anything beside your clothes on.

5.If you're afraid that you're going to be robbed,don't read tips from books,because as you read them anyone can read them even the burglars.Be inventive, the sock method works only if your feet stink.

6.This one's classic,if you go at the beach don't fall asleep in the sun,because after 2-3 hours of sleeping in the sun you'll be roasted like a turkey,or like KFCs chicken (bun I'm sure you won't be "Finger licking good").

7.Never pull over for am man dressed like a woman,or who looks like Michael Jackson.

If you have other tips leave a comment with them.

Things you shouldn't do when you're married

Well even if I'm not married I can make some suggestions about what you shouldn't do when you're married if you're man.


1.You shouldn't get married to early,take your time.
2.When you want to get married,think first and try not to be drunk,you don't want to marry a woman who's on drugs or who likes to drink to much.
3.You shouldn't go at prostitutes,when shes in town,or you'll end up with half of your belongings.
4.Think twice before having a child,you don't want to end up with gray hair when you're only 30 years old.
5.When you want to chose your son's/daughter's name,don't try to be a smart ass and propose to name him after famous cartoons or movies,like "Hulk","Jed I Knight","Spider-man",because you might end up sleeping at friends 2-3 weeks.
6.It would be a smart thing to quit drinking,like you used drink with your friends,before getting married.
7.Make a good impression at the first dinner with your fiances parents,don't go there drunk with thing drawn on your face and with a skirt on.
8.Always agree with what she says,NEVER and I repeat NEVER tell her she's wrong because you might end up sleeping at friends the rest of your life or even dead.
9.Don't tell her about your new secretary.
10.Try not to fall in love with another woman.If you do,transfer all your belongings in your fathers/mothers account.
11.Don't lose the wedding ring,before the wedding,especially if it's her mother's wedding ring.
12.Hold your bachelor party in place where your fiance can't find.
13.You ought to be home when the plumber ,electrician ,mechanic or builder comes to fix something.
14.Don't forget what you have to say ( the speech ),before saying "Yes!".
15.Don't change your mind at the last moment,that is when the priest asks you the question, because you might end up dead,shoot by her father,stabbed by your fiancee with the knife wich she keep for this kind of situation.
16.Don't forget your anniversary.


These aren't all the thing that you shouldn't do but I'll update every time I hear something new.

And if you have other suggestions leave a comment with them.Those might come in handy one day.

Why is the sky blue?

Why does superman wear his underwear over his pants?

Why do we always forget the time right after we look at the watch if somebody asks us?

Why does everybody like Chuck Norris?

Why do policemen like doughnuts?

Why when everything goes perfect something bad has to happen?

Why do people watch horror movies if it scares them?

Why do toddlers like to watch commercials?

Why did I write this post?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why do men have nipples?

Fathers

Your fathers is the second person who will tell you what's wrong and right,your father will always be there with you(if there's no football,basketball or any kind of important game on TV.)

If you're a boy he's going to learn you how to grow up and be a man.

If you're a girl he's going to learn you how to kill a boy/man with anything from a gun to a toothpick.

There are many types of fathers "the lazy father","the hard working father","the father-mother" (in which case your mother is more like your father), "the cool father" ,"the businessman father","the I'm not sure if that's my father"…etc.

Mine is the kind of father that can do anything.When I ask him something, he always knows the answer(sometimes he Google's it),if I break something,he can fix it,if I rob a bank he can make me disappear .
Unfortunately the only thing that I inherited from him is the ability to make out of anything a weapon,I can make one even with a paper clip.And the ability to learn quickly.

At least after I finish college I'm going to be a terrorist with a degree.

Jokes

A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'

Q: What did the blond name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

When a man says, "We've got to talk," the woman hears, "We're going to have a nice conversation."
When a woman says, "We've got to talk," a man hears, "Will the defendant please rise?"

John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.
"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?"
"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.

Me & Basketball

Basketball is my favorite sport,unfortunately I'm not so tall,which represents a difficulty,and I'm not really a pro at basketball,but I like it.Actually I started to play basketball just to grow taller.

When I started playing basketball I always heard "Shorty jump higher!","Catch the ball!","Stop looking after leprechauns!".But having a good coach I learned how to play,
but still,I'm not yet a really good player and I'm still the shortest in the team ,but it's ok I'm used to that easily.

"The height doesn't matter,when the game is tight"

So in conclusion anything is possible is you really want to.Maybe one day I'll catch the Tooth Fairy, or the Eastern Bunny.Keep on dreaming.

Movie Of The Week:Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

The story line isn't so good but the jokes are hilarious.

How to waste time?

I'm sure that everybody had a day when they didn't have what to do and just wanted the day to end,so I decided to make this list of what to do just to waste time.

1.Play Chess-this game takes a lot of time and if you don't have with who to play I think there are a few sites with games that have chess to.

2.If you're at school and you get bored in class but in the same time you can't skip it,look for leprechauns like I do ,damn bastards their every were.Or you can blow paper at colleagues through a straw.

3. If you're home and you don't have anything to do,after you check three times all the TV channels,you could go to sleep or talk about politics with your imaginary friend.

4.Or you could waste your time on the Internet,remember your TIME not your life, reading Chuck Norris Facts,or jokes.

5.If you're in town with a friend and you both get bored you can blow your imaginary trumpet,figure out if you can climb through a playing card,imitate other people's way of walking ,get drunk,the you can find a new friend and do it all again.

6.If you have imagination,I suggest you imagine these:

-imagine having to go out and kill your lunch before you can cook and eat it;
-imagine the worst thing that could happen to you;
-imagine what you would do with ultimate power;
-imagine you where a leprechaun owning a pot of gold;
-imagine having a howler monkey for a pet;
-imagine colleagues' reactions if you came to work dressed differently;

Police

Well everybody hates the police,even though they catch criminals and ensure public and social order.Because they are to arrogant,they think the power is in their hands that they can do anything they want.And they use force when ever they can,I'm not talking about the specialized units which work at serious cases(S.W.A.T.,S.E.A.L.),but at the ordinary police,it doesn't matter if it's a teenager or a old man.

But a thing that intrigues me is,why are there so many types of police?
criminal investigations,fraud investigations,criminal prosecution ,directorate of firearms, explosives and toxic substances,"Organized Crime and Narcotics",public order
,traffic police,transport police (aren't these the same?),nature police,juvenile police,child protection, they even have a police for the police

And another thing that I observed,is that Public Order policemen have a relatively low IQ.

Chris Rock

Chris Rock is my favorite,comedian even if he was voted as the fifth greatest stand-up comedian of all time,I consider him the best comedian off all time.I like to listen to his jokes because he always makes joke about African-American culture, American politics, current events, human sexuality, marriage, pop culture, race relations, racism.

He played in a series of movies like "Down to Earth". Rock has also increasingly worked behind the camera, both as a writer and director of "Head of State" and "I Think I Love My Wife".

And he also has a comedy series called "Everybody Hates Chris"...which is inspired by the teenage experiences,while growing up in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York in the early-mid 1980s,with him being the narrator(You can watch them here).

"Perfect " day

Everybody has a perfect day once in a while,unfortunately I have them to often.
Chapter 1: Yesterday the day started perfect 1 am ,I was at a friends party and it was ok,so I gues I didn't see it coming,when I got home at 3-4 am I realized that my project for the symposium isn't finished and I had only 3 hours to finish it.And this is how it starts.

Chapter 2: After I almost finished the poster and added one of the photographs,I took the previous day,I realized that it doesn't fit,neither the other 15 (to many for just a bad day),so I downloaded one from the internet,but at least I finished it.
After I finished I look at watch and it was 6:30 am,So I didn't have time to eat or pack some food,so I took some money with me.

Chapter 3: On my way there in the bus the controller caught me without a ticket,so i gave him money to leave me alone,there goes my food money,when I got there it was 8 am,
I still don't know why they told us to be there at 8 because the symposium started at 10 am .When it started I had the pleasure of knowing that I'm the last one who will present ,and of course I can't leave school,so I stood there from 10 am to half past 3 trying not to fall asleep,when finally it was my turn to present obviously I was to tired to do it so I didn't make such a good impression.And this is how the symposium ended.

Chapter 4:After the symposium I went to practice,being very tired I didn't score anything resulting push ups.
Before practice I still hadn't eaten anything.When I got home nothing in the fridge, nobody home.So to prevent other bad things to happen I went to sleep(the best decision I took that day).

If you had such a day leave comment with it.

Friends

Since today I'm not home,I'm writing from a pub,"Cafe des Bouqinistes", at a friend's birthday with all my good friends around ,I decided to write about friendship.

In life you make a lot of friends,but true friends are those who stick with you in good and bad times,this is what my father told me(besides the other boring stories which he told me),because he used to have a lot of "friends" until he lend them money and then he never hear from them again,sad,and I know he isn't the only one,but at least he still has a good friend,unfortunately he lives in Jordan.

So learning from my fathers mistakes even if I have a lot of friends,I know that only those who helped me when I really need help are true friends.Not like other friends which after I helped then when I needed help they never had time.

In conclusion one true friend is worth a thousand friends.

Random joke day.

Bush Joke:
A country doctor is suturing a laceration on the hand of an old farmer.
Old man: "All you need to know about politics is that young George Bush is a post turtle."

Doctor: "Oh? What is a post turtle?"

Old man: "When yer driving down a country road, and ya come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? That's a post turtle. Ya know he didn't get there by himself, he don't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help take the poor thing down."

Muffin:
Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "God it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"

Squirrel:
Q:Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
A:To keep its nuts dry

Blonde:
Q:What did the blonde say when she walken into the bar?
A:OUCHH!!!

Family:
The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and I said dust.

Barbie:
Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?
It comes with all of Ken's stuff.

Confucius Says:
"Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key"
"Man who stand in front of car get tired."
"Man who stand behind car get exhausted."
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there"
"War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot"

School

Everybody hates school,pupils and teachers.

But my high school is strange...because a lot of children enjoy school,not that it's a cool school or something,they enjoy it just because more than 60% are nerds who play
WoW all day and never heard of the word "Sport".Even though at school we have new computers,whiteboards, smartboards,new desks...we don't have a gym,we don't have sport classes, and two days
per week we have eight hours(and we aren't even payed for that),and it's like a god damned prison,surveillance cameras everywhere,that's why nerds chose this high school.
Probably your thinking how did I end up in this place.Well it was a matter of who got first at school
,me or my mom,to chose the high school ,unfortunately I was to late.Ain't life a b****.

As for the teachers ,well they don't like those who aren't into school,besides that some are racist too.Although there are some teachers that I like,such as the biology teacher,math teacher,history teacher,English and the sport teacher.

So in conclusion anybody can come,few menage to leave.

P.S. Teacher at my school like to torture children and eat them for breakfast,and I think one of the teachers is a pervert.