12.29.2009

Stupid and Annoying Questions

Often heard and usually used by aa..."simple".. people.

Always used:
1."Can I ask you a question?"
You already have sunshine.Sorry you're out of questions.

While sleeping some comes(usually mothers):
2."Are you sleeping?"
No,I'm just resting eyes that's why I have that sign on the door saying DO NOT DISTURB.

3."How can I see if a turtle is a male or female?"
Put a beer in front of it and if it come towards the beer then it's a male or you can grab it by it's tail and ...wait... never mind.

While working on something important,when you are very concentrated.
4."Am I disturbing?Can you please come and help me with something? Thanks." and leaves.
In this situation any people would say "GOD DAMN IT!"

While I was working at my dads shop I heard it many time.
5."Can I buy this?" ...
Holy crap! It's a god damn shop!

12.24.2009

Happy Christmas !

Happy Christmas everyone take care of your children because Santa is coming with the pedomobile.

May the good times and treasures of the present become the golden memories of tomorrow. Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

I really like this one ^



Yo ho *burp*!

12.18.2009

Dealing with people

I haven't posted anything lately because I started working this month to make more money for the holidays...gifts and all that bullshit.

I work at my dad's shop so I have to deal with different people from stupid people to those who think their very smart(still stupid anyways).

Dealing with some of them can be very difficult,sometimes I really want to punch them in the face but them I couldn't work there anymore so I just keep my temper and say "...*deep breath*...Can I help you with something else?"...Then they leave...Holy carp once I almost threw a ninja sword after somebody.

Snobby people always want the things located on the top shelf,because they're all smart asses and chances are I'm going to brake something trying to reach whatever they want.I always ask them:
"Are you sure you want that?"
Snob:"Yes,of course,I will buy it."
After I take it and give it to them then ...
Snob:"Oh...AAA...were gonna look around and come back to buy it."
Another way of saying it would be:
"Oh...this sucks were never going to come back here....SUCKER!"

I hate it when people ask stupid questions like:
What kind of plastic is this? "It's made from China's ass"
What's the price? ..When it has the price written on it.
Does this mug brake? "No god damn it it's bullet proof."

And many other stupid questions maybe I'll make a post with them.

Probably you're gonna see me on CNN as the angry shop keep which killed many people with a plastic gun and a wooden sword.

12.05.2009

How to see if somebody is a skinflint

Also known as Jews,damn them.

1.Doesn't leave a tip,
I used to work as a waiter and some people,not so many,never left a tip even though they came there almost every night.

2.At the restaurant when the bill come they look after flies or go at the toilet and jump out the window,hopefully the restaurant is a the 9th floor.

3.Sucks the blood out of the mosquito.

4.If he doesn't forget his wallet home them he'll probably say somebody stole it from him.

5.Has a double digestive system.

12.01.2009

How to see if your neighbors are complete idiots

I'm sure that everybody has,or had, stupid neighbors,these are just a few thing that happened to me.

1.While I was sleeping a neighbor came and started ringing at the door insistently ,so I woke up and went to see whats the problem.
I put up a smile and opened the door:

Me:"What seems to be the problem?"
Idiot:"I came to tell you to stop the music."
Me:"aaa... I know I start making funny noises when I sleep,but I don't rememebr being able to sing that loud."
Idiot:"Oh..you were sleeping...that means the music is coming from my sons room."
Me:"No shit?"
And I live at a house....

2.When my house was under construction I had a huge pile of sand in from of the house and one day I saw my damn neighbor taking it.
Me:"Wtf are you doing here?"
Idiot:"Well I though I could take some of it because I saw that you don't need it."
Me:"Oh so you didn't see the damn hose near the pile which is under construction?"
Idiot:"Ohhh.."

And more in another post.

Joke: Secret to a long marriage

With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired trips to where? "For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."

The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"

Ralph: "I'm going to go get her."