Black or white? Oh Michael Jackson

Q:Whats the similarity between Michael Jackson and Nintendo DS?
A:Both of their mottos are "touching is good".

Q:Whats the similarity between Michael Jackson and a TV?
A:Both can be black and white.

Q:Whats the similarity between Michael Jackson and Play Station?
A:Both get played by 7 year olds.

Q:Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A:One is pale an scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.

Q:What does Michael Jackson think of when he sees a boy in a McDonald's suit?
A:A happy meal.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.

Q: What's the first problem the Michael's child will have in life?
A: Figuring out which parent is his mother.

More Michael Jackson jokes here

Yo mama's day!

Yo mama's so fat,they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
Yo mama's so fat,the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo mama's so fat,she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse "

Yo mama's so fat,when she gets in a elevator, IT HAS TO GO DOWN!.

Yo mama's so fat,I ran around her two times and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat,when she ran away,they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat,at the zoo,the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so dumb,she drowned during the wave at the football stadium.

Yo mama's so fat,her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so ugly,her shadow quit.

Yo mama's so stupid,she saw a billboard that said "Doge Trucks" and she started
ducking through traffic.

This isn't the kind of mother you want to meet on the street.

We live in a sad world...

Yesterday while I was watching the news,I started to think at the world we live in and how sad it is ,it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor , black, white, yellow,green,blue,pink with red stripes or Michael Jackson there's always somethings that makes you sad.

Money is the main cause of sadness because if your poor you wish you had some money,if you're rich you wish you had more money .I read many articles about rich people who lost a lot of money then committed suicide,for what?If they still had enough to live without working the rest of their lives.I'll never understand these people.

Emo kids.I classified them in two classes:
1.Those who really have problems in their families and don't know how to express their feelings , which really need to consult a psychologist, before doing something stupid like testing the law of gravity.
2.Those who think that being emo is "cool" and start dressing in black clothes and dye their hair in different colors and use a lot of make up that's why emo boys usually get confused with gay people.Emo kids are also obsessed of making pictures of themselves in the mirror ... o yeah and they cut themselves across the wrist because they're seeking attention and they have low self esteem which they blame on society but in reality it's because they spend too much time feeling sorry for themselves.

Game:How long can you stay serious?

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Win!

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Because even after you die,everybody screws you.




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Difficulty levels:

Difficulty-You can't

None specified - Laugh
Hard - Smile
Nightmare - Smirk
Nitemare - Breathe
Shitting Thundercunt - Show any emotion
Nigger - Be Black
Anything easier than normal - Completely fail

The Naked Gun Trilogy

I think these are the funniest movies I have ever seen.
Leslie Nielsen is one of the greatest comedy actors ,even though he achieved his greatest film success in comedies , he crossed a variety of genres in both television and films.I also recomed you watch Dracula:Dead and Loving It.(trailer here)

Chuck Norris facts!

1.Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
2.The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
3.Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
4.There is no theory of evolution.Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
5.Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
6.It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
7.Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
8.Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
9.Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
10.There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

These are my favorite Chuck Norris facts,for more fact you can visit this site

Truck Fail

And I thought only in Romania this could happen

Realy Funny Commercial

See I told you that laughter keeps us alive.
This is one of the funniest commercial I ever saw,and the ones from Bud Light are hilarious, I recommed you watch them if you want you can see some >here<

Trying to be cool?

1.Be yourself.I mean don’t be yourself,but act like you are cool naturally.Confusing,huh?
2.Smoke.Smoke weed,smoke tobacco,smoke everything possible.If it’s cool.(If you have health problems, try to be cool without smoking)
3.Drink.Not too much.Just to look cool,you don’t have to be sleeping in a trench involuntary.
4.Speak smart.Speak with short words,actually don’t speak too much,and when you do,always say something smart.If you talk too much you’ll end up being a clown or a liar while trying to act cool.
5.Don’t get involved in fights.You can end up dead.Believe me,shit happens’.And if you are involved in a fight make everything possible to win and show that you are cool.
6.Quote famous movies,persons or books.
7.Be a shady character.Don’t be morbid,just dark,shady.
8.Don’t worry about what other people say or think about you,but be aware of how people perceive you.
9.Don’t take orders from other people,except they are your bosses.And if your boss doesn’t treat you with respect,kick his/her ass.
10.Be friendly,but not too friendly.
11.Search real friends.Few.
12.Don’t wear expensive clothes.Have your own fashion,wear vintage clothes or accessories,whatever you feel comfortable and confident in,as long as you look cool.
13.Wear accessories,wear sunglasses,wear hats,scarfs,pendants,watches,whatever.
14.Get cool tattoos.Great designs (this time expensive because you will have a tattoo all your life,and it has to look good and last).
15.Be humble but not a sucker.To be arrogant isn’t cool.
16.Have a haircut that suits you.
17.Act cool,look cool,think cool.
If you have more tips & trick share the knowledge!

"Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted"

This is what everybody should do for relaxation.
At my high school I barely have free time,some days my mother comes from work earlier than me,and I'm not even paid.So when I have time I like to have fun at parties,or go out with friends, it's not healthy to work or study all day(that's how EMO people appear).

Ambition

What’s ambition? Ambition is the possession of motivation for power. Ambitious persons seek power either for themselves or for others.

Well in my case….let’s just say I have too much ambition, some people say that one day my ambition will kill me. Not that I’m going to jump of the roof thinking that I could fly, or bungee jump of the garage, although it would be interesting ,the thing is I don’t know how to quit.

In my opinion there are two types of ambition I call them :temporary ambition when you try a few times and after you see it’s useless you quit ,and the stupid ambition when you don’t know how to quit. Because after many failures you have to succeed.
In conclusion it’s better to have stupid ambition because even if you fail a few times in the end you will succeed.