Reasons why men love guns more than women

I'll probably be called many names for this post,but it's too funny not to be posted.

15.You can dance with another woman without the gun shooting at you.

14.You don't invest a lot of money in guns and it won't go with someone else.

13.Guns can be used even when drunk.

12.A gun knows how to deal with somebody that makes fun of it.

11.A gun doesn't have to be sexy to kill.

10.You can trade an old .44 for a new 22.

9.You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

8.If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

7.Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

6.Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

5.A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

4.Guns function normally every day of the month.

3.A gun doesn't ask, 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'.

2.A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

1.YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN.

Many of them weren't made by me.

Happy Halloween

I hope all of you are gonna have a happy Halloween full of candy and...well candy.

Costumes I recommend:
I'm sure that these costumes are gonna scare the crap out of people

-Mothers in law costume;
-Rick Roll costume;
-Paris Hilton;
-A clown ,I honestly find clowns very scary,I can't stand them.

I'll add to the list later until then have fun.

Tips for a goodnight's sleep

I tried all the following tips and they work more or less,so you could say their scientifically tested.

The old warm glass of milk doesn't work nowadays,it' just gonna make you wake up to go an take a piss.

1.An option would be to drink until you pass out,but waking up will be a problem.

2.Running towards a wall ram style is sure gonna make you sleep a while.And you're also gonna win a free turban.

3.Watch religious channels in bed,that's sure gonna make you sleep.Did you know that Christian Rock existed?It's lamer than Rick Roll.

4.Tell your grandpa or somebody to tell you how it was at war,or how thir life was when they were young.

5.Close the computer,the TV,the monitor because even though you can't see the light during the day,at night it can disturb you while sleeping even if you don't realize that.

6.Take a long hot bath before going to sleep when you're really tired.Remember toasters don't heat the water.

7.Sleep in your bed.

Things you shouldn't do at a prom

Yesterday I went to the Freshman's prom and I saw things which people shouldn't do on proms.I mean some things are really fucked up.

First of all don't get too drunk,"too" is the key word,if you menage to make a difference between a plant and a toilet.
Anyways they main idea is not to get too wasted because you're gonna end up dancing with a she-whale.I think that was the grousest thing I've seen last night.

Alcohol can be a bitch sometimes.

Don't mess with the bodyguards because their gonna throw you out,although it's funny to mess with them.

Don't take your girlfriend/boyfriend with you,it's like taking your wife at a bachelor party,she/he is gonna stay near you and won't let you do anything and is they don't want to dance you can't dance neither can you.

Don't give alcohol too an idiot,you're gonna have him on your consicence, although it's funny to see a man dancing alone.

Things I realized until now

During the past years I realized many things,some of them very important:

-The fact that faring alone isn't fun,neither is watching movies.

-I realized that telling a girl she's fat gets you in a lot of shit, sometimes literally speaking.

-Eating sandwiches found under the bed not knowing since their there might get you in a "shitty" situation.

-You don't mess with Mother Nature,Mother Russia or God damned Mother In Law's.

-Math kills a lot of brain cells.

-Concentrating on a thing/human won't make them explode.

-I realized that my imagination sooner or later is gonna cause me a hart attack.
I mean holy crap sometimes at night I can't look outside the window because I think I'm gonna see a beheaded ghost(and I don't even watch horror movies)or worse... my future mother in law.

Sometimes it really sucks to have a lot of imagination.

-The fact that cleaning is useless.

-The chances of getting killed with a nail clipper are getting higher every day.



In my imagination she was harrier and had horns.And had a nail clipper.

A List Of Rappers and Gang Affiliation

A lot of famous rappers or not have been associated with different gangs across US.Some of them, as they gained notoriety revealed their affiliation.Or,as you know many used their afilliation , or fake affiliation as a marketing instrument.Any updates for the list are welcome as always.

Kelly Park Compton Crips : Eazy-E,MC Ren,Tweedy Bird Loc, Lil Nation(from CPO),AWOL (from Nationwide Rip Ridaz)
Rollin' 20's Crips : Snoop Dogg,Goldie Loc,Warren G,The Dove Shack
Rollin' 60's Crips : Kurupt,CJ Mac,Ice Cube,Kieta Rock,Tha Comradz
21st Street Crips : Daz Dillinger
19th Street Crips : Lil' C Style
Insane Crips : Tray Deee,Battlecat,Bad Azz,Swoop G
LBC Crips : Slip Capone,So Sentrelle,Lil' 1/2 Dead
Hoover Crips : South Central Cartel,Ice-T
Corner Pocket Crips : Coolio
111 Neighborhood Crips : W.C.
Nutty Blocc Compton Crips : B.G. Knocc Out,Dresta
South Side Compton Crips : Tone Loc
Tragnew Park Compton Crips : MC Eiht
Inglewood Imperial Village Crips : Big Syke
NHC 47 Blocc Crips (San Diego) : Jay-O Felony
Garden Blocc 19th Street Crips (Sacramento) : C Bo
P.J. Riverside Crips : New Breed Of Hustlas
357 Crips (Pomona) : Kokane
Atlantic Drive Crips : Scarface
Oakland Crips : Richie Rich
Palmdale Crips : Afroman
Crips : Da Lench Mob,Watts Gangsters,Kausion,Kam,Above The Law
Crips Black Mafia Family : Fabolous
WSGC 124 Crips Black Mafia Family : Young Jeezy

Cedar Block Pirus Bloods : The Game
Mob Piru Bloods : $uge Knight
Compton Tree Top Piru Bloods : Dj Quik,Hi C
Campanella Park Piru Bloods : Mausberg
Queen St Inglewood Bloods : Mack 10
Inglewood Family Bloods : All Frum Tha I,Tha Relativez,The Roaddawgs
Compton Piru Bloods : Tha Realest,Top Dogg,G.P.
89th Street Family Bloods : B-Real (Cypress Hill),Sinister
Pacioma Piru Bloods : Terror Twinz
Bounty Hunter Bloods : O.F.T.B.
Skyline Piru Bloods : Nuttz
Elm Street Piru Bloods : 2nd II None
West Side Piru Bloods (Carson Samoan Warriors) : Boo-Ya Tribe
Crenshaw Mafia Gangsta Blood : Lil' Hawk,Big Wye
Denver Lane Bloods : Damu Ridaz
Bloods : Sen Dog (Cypress Hill),DMX,2Pac (Tupac Shakur Amaru)


Black Spades : Afrika Bambaataa

South Los Angeles Sureños : Brownside
Sureños : Mr. Criminal

Norteno San Fer : Capone

Vice Lords : Twista

Gangster Disciples : Ca$his


List made by a friend.

I believe that one day the war between Crips and Bloods will end.

Belch Types

Definition:To expel gas loudly or rudely from the stomach through the mouth. aka Burp

There are many types of burps and we burped even when we were toddlers.I think I started even before I was born.

So I'll start from the cutest and end with the most terrifying and grouse burp.

1.The Baby Burp:
You know when the parents keep their babies son their shoulders and makes them burp.Sometimes puke.It depends when the parent showered last time.

2.The Beginners Burp:
When someone doesn't know how to burp "correctly" and makes a funny sound which doesn't really sound like a burp.

3.The Beer Burp:
It doesn't have a bad smell it usually smells like beer ,but the nice part at it is that it can be hard from long distances,usually used to signal someone's presence.

4.The "Fuck Off" Burp:
I use this one a lot,similar to the beer burp but not only that it can be heard from long distances but it also has a disgusting smell.

I usually do them during class,burping with my mouth closed the just blowing the smell to others,it really help if you're bored.

--->For maximum efficiency to be used in targets face<---

5.The Suicidal Burp:
This burp usually come after mixing onion,garlic,meatballs and coke.I call it suicidal because once while I was sitting at the computer I burped and it smelt worse than a fart,I mean Holy Crap I almost puked.

But it can be used to kill others if you keep it inside until you reach the target so you can burp in his face.

List made by BlackSnow

Man's Biggest Mistakes

1.Man's first biggest mistake is telling a woman she's fat or dumping her on a date.

2.Some of them failing to appreciated what God gave them and using it the wrong way.
You get it.

3.Trusting a blonde.

4.Creating nuclear warhead .

5.Thinking that he's intelligent...
Even the smartest man on earth can be considered stupid.

6.Taking a woman/man/shemale/maleshe(not sure about these)... home when drunk.

7.Believing every god damn thing they hear at the news.

This is just a short list of man's mistakes.The list is endless.



May the Fork be with you.The Fork is within you,you just need to find it.

This ain't a man but dogs are man's best friend so it can be explained.

Adam and Eve Joke

How it all started.

One day God told Adam :

"You can't live alone forever,if you give me one arm,one leg and a kidney I'm gonna create the perfect match for you,a "WOMAN" which will always help you,cook,take care of your children and do the house work."

Then Adam asked:

"What can I get for a rib?"

Fart types

Farting is a tricky thing,you never know how it's gonna come or how.

1.We have the Silent Assassin,although it's silent the terror and pain it causes is unimaginable ,indoors it can reach a range of 5-10 meters in less than 2 minutes.Most people don't survive them.

2.Bubble fart:
You sometimes think that you have to take a shit,but when you go the toilet you feel like a bubble appears in your ass then nothing come's out.And it usually doesn't stink.

3.Big Kahuna:
I call it like this because of the sound it makes,this type of fart usually get's out in silent public places where everybody can hear you.

4.Wet fart:
This one usually come out nasty ,it gives you the impression that you messed up your underwear,although sometimes it's not just an impression.

5.The KFC Fart:
This one is stinky and painful ,after eating some spicy food from KFC when you less expect it ,it will come and when it comes not even God knows what's gonna happen.

6.The "Holy Mother Of Crap!"Fart :
Usually comes after eating a lot of canned beans with hot pepper,not only that it make a" holy mother of crap" sound but it also stinks like that.

7.Strategic Bomb Drop Fart:
You need a lot of skill for this one,it's not so loud and not so stinky ,usually done on purpose just to annoy or just to tell someone to Fuck Off in a stylish way.

8.Under Water Fart :
Appears in romantic moments and it stinks.It can be used for fishing,one fart in the water and half of the ocean is gonna stay with it's belly up.

Caution!
Don't Fart Near Open Fire Extremely Inflammable.

P.S. Women fart as much as men do.

Made By BlackSnow

Superstitions

In time human kind stupidity invented a lot of ridiculous superstitions to scare other people or just to give them hope.Which doesn't really matter because none of them really work.

Some which are well known:

-If a black cat crosses your path you will have bad luck.
Only if you hit it with your car and ruin your paint job.Or if it jumps from a tree right on you and scares the holy crap out of you.Happened to me.

-That garlic protects from evil spirits and vampires.
And it also protects you from going out on dates.

-To break a mirror will bring you seven years bad luck.
Well if that person is so damn ugly that he/she managed to break that mirror I'd say they have more than 7 years of bad luck coming.

-If you walk under a ladder, you will have bad luck.
Only if on the ladder there is a fat ass worker which farts when you walk under it or if you're really lucky he might just fall on you.Pancake style.

-If the flame of a candle flickers and then turns blue, there's a spirit in the room.
Or someone just farted.

-Washing a car will bring rain.
This isn't a superstition this is one of Murphy's laws.

-If a person experiences great horror, their hair turns white.
That's usually called marriage or children.

Damn Bastards

wtf is their problem with Muslims?

Random Joke Day

1.An actor asked his director:"What do you think,how did I kill Desdemona?"
Director:"You killed her,but I think you killed Shakespeare first."

2."Sir ,sir why are you leaving? the play hasn't finished yet."
"That's the reason I'm leaving."

3.Why didn't Bruce Willis play in the Titanic?
Because he would have saved everyone from death.

4.Two drunk men meet:
1:"Did you have breakfast this morning?"
2:"Nope,not a single drop."

5.Two drunk men meet at night.
1:"Tell is that white thing on the sky the Moon?"
2:"I don't know I'm not from this neighborhood."

I love my country III

God's shovel.


Pus the pedal to the metal.We're losing them.



Fresh meat.



I can see what the problem is,we don't have an engine,try starting it again.



I'm in pursuit.

I love this country part 2

Can you see any alligators?


Let's see if my wife went shopping.


An Outlaw.Living her life at the edge.


They see me rollin..they hatin'.


Tell us when you find oil.

Useless things

I reached the conclusion that this planet is useless because we do useless thing,we have useless things and there are even useless people.

Useless thing we do:

-Wars...I mean beside the fact that it's only a waste of lives and money,it bring after it more wars.
And when you think that a war can start from anything,maybe the World War II started because at a meeting they started calling each other names
Baby Eaters - China,
Panty Face - Germany.

-Nuclear Warhead...even though we know that if many of them would be launched at the same time nothing good can happen ,and the nations are still producing them,nowadays I think everybody has one under their house.The house just opens the roof on there goes the nuke.

Useless Things we have:

-Nipples on men,this is what other people say,but I say that nipples on men are very useful without them we couldn't make nipple twisters.It would be harder in combat without them.

-Body hair,this kinda is useless,I we mean anyway we shave it from everywhere ... EVERYWHERE and beside the fact that it's E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E and it hurts when you pull it out.

I always though of the human as being a baboon with harry butt.

Useless people:

People with no souls that produce nothing of any substance or value to the human race and just live to fill the empty places or maybe some are determined by the society.

Such people would be :
-The Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana,
-EMO people(in course of extinction),
-George W.Bush,this idiot didn't help the society with nothing,
-Samwell

I love this country

How to get high easy and cheap

You don't know what to do with your free time? You really want to get high but you don't have the cash for the crack? Alcohol isn't enough for you?

I have the answer to all your problems.

-You can easily get high by hitting the wall with your head and not only that you'll be high but you could also win a free trip to the loony bin.

-Drink pure alcohol that will sure take you in a another world in a few moments but your stomach and liver might not still be in this world the next day.But hey,what the hell?

-Climb a tree then you're really gonna be high,especially if you can't climb down.

-Start smoking everything you have in the kitchen until you find the perfect combination of ingredients.

-Go in the managers office (just for the lols) sit on his chair and starts spinning,the easiest way to get high.

-There's a medicine for women Tantum Rosa but if you drink it the medicine gives you a few hours of hallucinations.

But if you really have all the problems then you are person with a lot of issues and I don't recommend you follow advice from this post.

Promoting some MUSIC

This is a song made by a friend and we just want to hear some opinions.So please share your thoughts.

Purple Iris

School's Boring And It Sucks

In the last 3 weeks of school everyday I have to go through the same things ,go at school at 8am ,from 8am to 2-3 Pm stay and listen,although around 12 I usually fall asleep.

Sometimes school can be so boring not only because the teacher talk to much but also because sometimes we have to learn something which we won't ever use in life.Like math,we need math but not so complicated,I mean if I get lost on a island in the middle a nowhere the square root under a radical of a damn coconut won't do me any good neither is Pythagoras theorem gonna build me a boat.

Match isn't the only useless thing we do at school there is Entrepreneurship Education,maybe at other school the do something but at mine the teacher just tells us from where we can get a CV example and...that's about the whole damn thing.I can do that on my own.

Anyway during classes I hate it when I'm really tired then I start hearing the teacher in slow motion and after a few minutes i can't hear anything then I fall asleep.And I wake up after 2 min thinking that I've slept half a hour.

Thing to do when bored in class:
-make bugger balls and throw at the colleague in front of you,
-start drawing random things on your notebook,
-sleep,
-I used to like chewing paper and sticking it on the ceiling,you never know when it's gonna fall,
-study the anatomy of a fly,
-stare at the teacher,



This video shows exactly how a day at school is ... well except for the part with saying out loud the thing about the girl with big boobs.

Chinese zodiac

Chinese people have the coolest zodiac,although I can't get out of my mind the fact that they eat babies.The bastard...

Anyway, I just found out that In the Chinese zodiac I'm Monkey,and I totally agree with it ,it really characterizes me.

First of all I like bananas...which doesn't really have anything to do with that but I also like looking for flees in my hair...wait...damn it.

Features:

Curiosity - well there is a saying in Romania :"Curious people die fast",I proved it's wrong...although it brings you to near death experiences often.

Mischievousness - I do like making jokes ,and indeed sometimes people get pissed off...but it wouldn't be fun if they wouldn't get pissed.(P.S. I googled this word,to complicated)

Cleverness - Einstein Ain't got shit on me.

It says that when it comes to work,Monkey can do just about anything and their right, I adapt faster than an Indian.

As career I can be a scientist, engineer, stock market trader, air traffic controller, dealer, film director, jeweler and sales representative.

Probably they aren't referring at the same dealer I'm thinking off.As for air traffic controller...considering that I'm half Arab I don't think anybody is gonna hire me.

If I become a scientist I'll probably be the first man who invented the pocket nuclear device.

Blonde Jokes

1.Two blondes went in a forest looking for a Christmas tree.
After a few hours of searching without finding anything one says:
You know something?I think all the decorated one's are already taken.

2.How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A:Put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.
B:Give her to read a paper which has written on both sides "Read on the other side".

3.Why does a brain cell die in a blondes head?
Nobody can live alone.

4.Why are there two foot steps on a computer screen?
A blonde tried to go online.

5.Two blondes were talking:
B1:Have you ever look in your husbands eyes while having sex?
B2:Yes,of course.
B1:And what expression did he have on his face?
B2:Well he was staring at me from the door.