Random Joke I can't remember what day is today

Since today I'm very tired I'm gonna write some jokes.I hope this tips will help me sleep better
1.Homosexuals :

A homo enters a shop and asks the shopkeeper:
H:Can I have a salami please?
S:Of course, do you want me to cut it?
H:Do I look like a piggy bank?

2.Women:
What do parking lots and women have in common?

The good one are always taken and the only free one are for retarded people.

3.Blond:

A blond,redhead and brunet went at a lie detector:

The brunet:
I'm thinking of a house in Australia.
...BEEP-your lying.

The redhead:
I'm thinking of a red car.
...BEEP-your lying.

The blond:
I'm thinking...
...BEEP-your lying.

4.Bad parenting:

K:Dad can you buy me a 3G telephone with bluetooth,video camera and java applications?
Dad:why can't you take drugs like all the other kids?!

5.Drunk man:

A drunk man stops in from of a street light and starts knocking it.
Later another drunk man comes and says:
Keep insisting,the lights are on.