Child - Mom translation

Well this list is made from my own experience,I've seen a man-wife translation and I though why not make a child-mom translation.
Oh yeah,the fail continues ,yesterday I sprained my ankle...it hurts like hell.

1.I love you mom!
Translation - Yeah...about that vase you just bought.

2.I really love you mom!
Translation - I need money.

3.I was a good boy.
Translation - Oh shit! please don't open the closet.

4.I cleaned my room.
Translation - I stuffed everything under my bed and in the closet.

5.I'm not sad.
Translation - I'm not sad as long as you give me money.

6.I missed you!
Translation - The fridge is empty.

7.I never got drunk!
Translation - I always get wasted.

8.I was changing that's why I didn't answer.
Translation - Yes! she didn't see my girlfriend's underwear.

9.No I don't have a girlfriend.
Translation - I have around 10.

10.I need to be alone.
Translation - Damn it woman! don't you see I want to make a castle out of peanuts.

11.Of course I like my step father.
Translation- He's perfect for testing my new homemade weapons

12.The music is not loud at all.
Translation - Fuck... my audio has to make the bed vibrate not less... biAtch

13. I can't hear you!
Translation - I'm not coming unless you have something good for me

14.It wasn't my fault.
Translation - You won't do anything so just leave me alone.

15.I watch a cool movie with my friends.
Translation - It was really fun getting drunk and laid.

16.No,I don't what that , It's to expensive.
Translation - Shit that's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

17.Thank you for the wonderful gift!
Translation - Fuck.. another piece of garbage

18.I really wanted to read that book!
Translation - You just uselessly killed a tree,do you know that?

19.Of course I read that book,but I can't find it now.
Translation - It left a rash on my ass.

20.This soup is delicious!
Translation - I've never tasted such liquid shit.