Random joke day

I.Alcohol Problems:

Q:Afraid That you're going to put on weight if you drink a lot of beer?
A:Try drinking whiskey or vodka before drinking beer and you won't be afraid anymore.

II.Truth about nutrition problems:

1.Japanese consume food with low fat and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.
2.Mexicans consume food with high fat and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.
3.Chinese don't drink so much red wine and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.
4.Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.
5.Germans drink a lot of beer and eat all kinds of sausages and fat,and suffer less heart attacks than Americans.

Conclusion :

You can drink and eat anything you want.It seems that speaking English kills you.

III.Drunk man at a trial:

At a very boring trial,when everybody almost fell asleep, a drunk man shouted at the Judge:

-Kiss my ass!
-Outside! yelled the Judge,at which the man answered:
-NoooooOO! Here,so everybody can see it!