Random joke day.

Bush Joke:
A country doctor is suturing a laceration on the hand of an old farmer.
Old man: "All you need to know about politics is that young George Bush is a post turtle."

Doctor: "Oh? What is a post turtle?"

Old man: "When yer driving down a country road, and ya come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? That's a post turtle. Ya know he didn't get there by himself, he don't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help take the poor thing down."

Muffin:
Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "God it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"

Squirrel:
Q:Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
A:To keep its nuts dry

Blonde:
Q:What did the blonde say when she walken into the bar?
A:OUCHH!!!

Family:
The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and I said dust.

Barbie:
Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?
It comes with all of Ken's stuff.

Confucius Says:
"Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key"
"Man who stand in front of car get tired."
"Man who stand behind car get exhausted."
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there"
"War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot"