Area 51.1

Annoying people

2010-02-15T14:11:00.005+02:00

This world is full of annoying people and I'm sure that everybody knows a person which annoys them.Maybe a person which isn't annoying to me is annoying to someone else... and it's annoying how many time is used "annoying".

The most common annoying type of people are :

-Those who talk a lot,I name them "Broken Speaker"-when they open their mouth there are only three ways of closing it:
1.Wait until they fall asleep;
2.Kill them.
3.Say their mothers fat. (always works)

-The people which are so stupid that they become annoying aka "The Brain Damaged"-usually do everything wrong.No need in stopping these people because chance are that their going to kill themselves on the first task given.

-And there are those who ask a lot of questions,many of them not having any sense or any kind of reason.

Be thankful for

2010-02-08T15:29:00.004+02:00

For your husband who snores,
Because he's not in another woman's bed.

For the taxes you pay,
Because that means you have a job.

For the clothes which are a bit tight,
Because that means you have enough to eat.

For the shadow following you everywhere,
Because that means you are still human.

For the chores you have around home,
Because that means you have an house.

For the parking spot located at the end of the parking lot,
Because that means you can walk and you have a car.

For the noise made by neighbors,
Meaning that you can still hear.

For the alarm waking you up every morning,
Meaning that you still are alive.

Teachers

2010-02-05T21:24:00.001+02:00

You can learn many things from teachers which aren't always useful (never).But there are some teachers which know what we really need to know and those are the teachers from which we learn useful stuff.

And there's the Teachers Whiskey from which you really learn many things.

I'll start with the stupid teachers;
Stupid teachers are those which try to learn us through methods they read in a book or a magazine,and those tips don't really help because they usually make the classes boring and nobody can teach a class which doesn't like the teachers.

And there are the literally stupid teachers which don't know shit about what they try to teach us ,more over they think their really smart,trying to use smart word which neither us nor them know what they mean.

For example my Romanian teacher, she has a strange method because it would be the same thing if I studied at home , and she didn't even read the book which we have to read, when we ask her something she says she can't remember because she read the books when she was in high school or she saw a movie after it,what kind of language teacher does that?

And there are the good teachers which know what they teach us,for example my ex-math teacher.Even though he didn't have a very organized method we learned easier,and we knew that we could ask him anything if we don't know. Now with our current teacher we don't learn like before,not that we couldn't ask her if we didn't know something,but nobody has the guts.

And there are those teachers which don't teach you only the things you should learn at class and teach you many life lessons which in most cases are more important than that classes.

Conclusion:
Cookies are good.

Learning time

2010-02-04T23:34:00.005+02:00

Today kids, we learn how to say "Fuck you!" in 10 languages.This way you won't have any problems expressing your feeling too somebody when you are in one of these countries.

1.Estonian - persse;
2.Filipino - sirain mo;
3.Finnish - vittu;
4.French - vas te faire encule;
5.Haitian - nike ou;
6.Hungarian - átbaszni;
7.Lithuanian - kurwa;
8.Norwegian - fuck deg;
9.Romanian - Du-te dracului;
10.Slovenian - Jebi se;

Now when you're traveling you can always tell somebody a friendly Fuck you!

Quotes To Remember - Part IV

2010-02-02T13:53:00.002+02:00

1.The men who stare at goats (2009)

Lyn Cassady:"Dear Mother Earth... I will drink your blue waters... and eat your green skin."

Bob Wilton:"...but really he was dying of a broken heart. And maybe a little bit of cancer."

Bill Django:"Be all you can be."

2.The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)

Jane:"I wanted you to know, now, I've loved you since the first day I met you, and I'll never stop. I'm a very lucky woman."
Frank:"So am I..."

Ed:"Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that."

Frank:"It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside."

3.Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)

Klaus Baudelaire:"Violet, nothing happens by coincidence."

Klaus Baudelaire:"Everything happens for a reason."

Lemony Snicket:"This would be an excellent time to walk out of the theater, living room, or airplane where this film is being shown."

Aunt Josephine:"The children are going to serve puttanesca."
Count Olaf:"The very meal I ate before they took me leg!"

4.Find me guilty (2006)

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:"I'm not a gangster. I'm a gagster!"

FBI Agent:"If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, then chances are it *is* a duck.
Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio: If it talks like an asshole, and looks like an asshole, then chances are it *is* an asshole."

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:"Send me to jail. I'm not guilty, but I'm used to it."

Protect yourself

2010-02-01T20:53:00.003+02:00

This video was to funny not to post it.

Quotes To Remember - Part III

2010-01-25T21:41:00.004+02:00

1.Never Back Down (2008)

Jean Roqua:"Never give up, never back down!"

Ryan McCarthy:"If you gonna be the best, you have to take out the best"

Jake Tyler:"I'm gonna stop this guy, win, lose... it makes no difference, it ends tonight. This is my fight. Everyone's got one..."

2.Forever Strong (2008)

Coach Larry Gelwix:"If you want easy, play Lacrosse or Football, or join the Marines. Gentleman welcome to highland Rugby. "

Reading the Tattoo:"I score,this is what I do..."

Trailer :"The greatest victories are born in the heart."

Coach Larry Gelwix:"You have to learn to listen and pay attention to that spirit inside you."

3.Creation (2009)

Charles Darwin:"So much beauty for so little purpose."

Thomas Huxley:"You've killed God, sir!"

4.Troy(2004)

Priam:"I've fought many wars in my time. Some I've fought for land, some for power, some for glory. I suppose fighting for love makes more sense than all the rest."

Achilles:"You're still my enemy in the morning."
Priam:"You're still my enemy tonight. But even enemies can show respect."

Hector:"You say you're willing to die for love but you know nothing about dying and you know nothing about love!"

5.Fight Club(1999)

Tyler Durden:"Only after disaster can we be resurrected."

Tyler Durden:"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

Narrator:"When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake."

Tyler Durden:"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

Narrator:"It's called a changeover. The movie goes on, and nobody in the audience has any idea."

Improvised Weapons

2010-01-20T19:47:00.005+02:00

You never know when you're gonna end up in prison,it's better to be prepared,or maybe you'll want to kill your wife/husband and you just don't have any ideas...OR MAYBE...you're gonna be attacked by zombies and you're going to the the last person on earth! But I think you'll rather end up killing your wife/husband.

1.Toothbrush knife:
It's easy to make it,all you need is a tooth brush and something to make the lower part of it sharp.

2.Screwdriver:
Always works when you want to screw somebody.

3.Broken Bottle:
You don't break the bottle with your head,just so we're clear...you can break it on others head though.

4.Razor Toothbrush:
You have to heat the razor blade until it turns red then you put it right in the middle of the fuzzy thing on the toothbrush,very efficient weapon,if you don't manage to kill that person nobody will believe him/her that you tried to kill them with tooth brush.

5.Flashlights:
You take somebody on top of a building and flash them in the eyes,then they'll just run around seeing stars eventually falling of the building.Simple as that.

Quotes To Remember - Part II

2010-01-16T23:06:00.003+02:00

Another list of quotes from movies I recommend you watch.

1.The Last Samurai (2003)

Emperor:"Tell me how he died."
Algren:"I will tell you how he lived."

Katsumoto:"The perfect blossom is a rare thing. You could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life."

2.Stardust (2007)

Narrator: A philosopher once asked, "Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?" Pointless, really... ”Do the stars gaze back?" Now *that's* a question.

3.Batman Begins (2005)

Ra's al Ghul:"When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural."

Henri Ducard:"Men fear most what they cannot see."

4.Forest Gump (1994)

Forrest Gump:"My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." "

Forrest Gump:"Stupid is as stupid does."

Jenny Curran:"Run, Forrest! Run!"

5.Schindler's List (1993)

Amon Goeth:"The truth, Helen, is always the right answer."

Wilhelm Kunde:"That's what they do. They weather the storm. But this storm is different, this storm is the SS."

Itzhak Stern:"This list... is an absolute good. The list is life. All around its margins lies the gulf."

Quotes To Remember - Part I

2010-01-15T18:20:00.003+02:00

A list of quotes I chose from movies,which in my opinion are the best I've ever seen.

1.Big Fish (2003) a very imaginative movie in my opinion.

Senior Edward Bloom:"They say, when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true. What they don’t tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up."

2.The Shawshank Redemption (1994) is the best movie I have ever seen.And I'm sure no movie will change that fact a few years.

Andy Dufresne:[in letter to Red]"Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

Red:"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

I strongly suggest you watch this movie.It is ,indeed, a master piece.

3.The Godfather I (1972)

Don Corleone:"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."
Don Corleone:"Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking."
Don Corleone:"Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."

Michael Corleone:"Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment."

Seven Pounds (2008) honestly this movie was sadder than The Titanic.

Ben Thomas:"In seven days,God created the world.And in seven seconds,I shattered mine."

Ben Thomas:"It is within my power to drastically change his circumstances, but I don't want to give that man a gift he doesn't deserve."

5.Felon (2008)

John Smith:"When your life is defined by a single action,it changes the concept of time."

Racism

2010-01-10T19:31:00.004+02:00

It's shameful that nowadays there still are racist people,where's the peace and unity?
Last Halloween I saw 2 people dressed as KKK's,there are only 3 possible explications for that:
-nationalist people
-lack of imagination;
-or they're some really stupid bastards;
Even so,it's just wrong.

And another funny,but sad thing is when some people,even though their white,they keep acting black and saying to each other "nigger",I don't see the purpose of that.For example:
1:"What are you doing NIGGER!?
2:"Chillin',drinking ma milk.NIGGER.50 Cent madafaka."
Don't they know that in some areas people get shot for saying that word?

I think even aliens could be racists,if a black alien come on their planet they would say "Holy Shit! It's a niggailen."

And it's not only about black people,even now when somebody sees an Arab the only things running through his mind are:Guns,Bomb and terrorism.I mean WTF there are about 1.2 billion worldwide.

But since the U.S. has a black president all the racist bastards can .......... and ..... with a ............ .

What do you learn from school ?

2010-01-10T09:34:00.002+02:00

Honestly I learned many things from school,but they never came in use ... except for the things I learned at math,Romanian and English in primary school.I would be better if they would let us chose what to learn at school instead of having so many hours per day.
The funny thing is that I learned some valuable life lessons from classes which don't really have anything to do with that.

So I'll tell you what I learned from each class.

1.Math:Well...nothing...but if I concentrate a bit maybe.....nope still nothing.

2.Romanian:I learned that blonde Romanian teachers can't do shit.

3.Physics: I realized that gravity really is a bitch.

4.Chemistry: I learned that beans and plums don't make a good chemical reaction in the stomach.

5.Geography: I learned that Romania is located in the asshole of Europe.

6.French: I learned that by mixing a lot of alcoholic drinks a happy ending is impossible.

7.Sports: I realized that playing basketball on ice isn't as easy as it sounds.

8.Music: I realized that I won't ever be an opera singer.

9.History: I learned to many things which aren't even related to history.

What did you learn from school?

UFOs

2010-01-08T20:32:00.002+02:00

You are not alone...They are here for you! (Michael Jackson style)

I'm kinda bored so I decided to write about UFOs,well I always imagined that one day a huge UFO is going to fly over Earth and we'll be invaded by aliens which have Rick Roll masks,talk with a funny Scottish accent and aren't taller than a midget.

Anyway I don't really believe in UFOs,I believe there is something smarter than us out there(even if nothing exists it's still smarter than us) or even if they really are smart they wouldn't come on this planet,except for the chocolate and fields where their kids can draw we don't have anything important.

Or maybe they are already here,they use human shapes to disguise themselves,that would explain Paris Hilton and George W.Bush's existence.

Anyways coming back to the subject again,I think the UFOs seen until now are just fakes made up by some really bored people,and the rapid lights were just pilots from the Air Force playing with flashlights,that or something went wrong with some rockets.

Stupid and Annoying Questions

2009-12-29T17:45:00.003+02:00

Often heard and usually used by aa..."simple".. people.

Always used:
1."Can I ask you a question?"
You already have sunshine.Sorry you're out of questions.

While sleeping some comes(usually mothers):
2."Are you sleeping?"
No,I'm just resting eyes that's why I have that sign on the door saying DO NOT DISTURB.

3."How can I see if a turtle is a male or female?"
Put a beer in front of it and if it come towards the beer then it's a male or you can grab it by it's tail and ...wait... never mind.

While working on something important,when you are very concentrated.
4."Am I disturbing?Can you please come and help me with something? Thanks." and leaves.
In this situation any people would say "GOD DAMN IT!"

While I was working at my dads shop I heard it many time.
5."Can I buy this?" ...
Holy crap! It's a god damn shop!

Happy Christmas !

2009-12-24T23:25:00.002+02:00

Happy Christmas everyone take care of your children because Santa is coming with the pedomobile.

May the good times and treasures of the present become the golden memories of tomorrow. Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

I really like this one ^

Yo ho *burp*!

Dealing with people

2009-12-18T22:56:00.004+02:00

I haven't posted anything lately because I started working this month to make more money for the holidays...gifts and all that bullshit.

I work at my dad's shop so I have to deal with different people from stupid people to those who think their very smart(still stupid anyways).

Dealing with some of them can be very difficult,sometimes I really want to punch them in the face but them I couldn't work there anymore so I just keep my temper and say "...*deep breath*...Can I help you with something else?"...Then they leave...Holy carp once I almost threw a ninja sword after somebody.

Snobby people always want the things located on the top shelf,because they're all smart asses and chances are I'm going to brake something trying to reach whatever they want.I always ask them:
"Are you sure you want that?"
Snob:"Yes,of course,I will buy it."
After I take it and give it to them then ...
Snob:"Oh...AAA...were gonna look around and come back to buy it."
Another way of saying it would be:
"Oh...this sucks were never going to come back here....SUCKER!"

I hate it when people ask stupid questions like:
What kind of plastic is this? "It's made from China's ass"
What's the price? ..When it has the price written on it.
Does this mug brake? "No god damn it it's bullet proof."

And many other stupid questions maybe I'll make a post with them.

Probably you're gonna see me on CNN as the angry shop keep which killed many people with a plastic gun and a wooden sword.

How to see if somebody is a skinflint

2009-12-05T23:52:00.003+02:00

Also known as Jews,damn them.

1.Doesn't leave a tip,
I used to work as a waiter and some people,not so many,never left a tip even though they came there almost every night.

2.At the restaurant when the bill come they look after flies or go at the toilet and jump out the window,hopefully the restaurant is a the 9th floor.

3.Sucks the blood out of the mosquito.

4.If he doesn't forget his wallet home them he'll probably say somebody stole it from him.

5.Has a double digestive system.

How to see if your neighbors are complete idiots

2009-12-01T14:13:00.001+02:00

I'm sure that everybody has,or had, stupid neighbors,these are just a few thing that happened to me.

1.While I was sleeping a neighbor came and started ringing at the door insistently ,so I woke up and went to see whats the problem.
I put up a smile and opened the door:

Me:"What seems to be the problem?"
Idiot:"I came to tell you to stop the music."
Me:"aaa... I know I start making funny noises when I sleep,but I don't rememebr being able to sing that loud."
Idiot:"Oh..you were sleeping...that means the music is coming from my sons room."
Me:"No shit?"
And I live at a house....

2.When my house was under construction I had a huge pile of sand in from of the house and one day I saw my damn neighbor taking it.
Me:"Wtf are you doing here?"
Idiot:"Well I though I could take some of it because I saw that you don't need it."
Me:"Oh so you didn't see the damn hose near the pile which is under construction?"
Idiot:"Ohhh.."

And more in another post.

Joke: Secret to a long marriage

2009-12-01T14:10:00.001+02:00

With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired trips to where? "For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."

The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"

Ralph: "I'm going to go get her."

How I understand sayings

2009-11-28T14:17:00.002+02:00

I usually understand in my way sayings before I process them,to understand what they really mean.

1.An apple per day keeps the doctor away.
So if I gather apples every day when I go to the doctor I throw with them at him.

2.A picture is worth a thousand words.
I still got a F for drawing a picture instead of writing an essay.

3.Teamwork…means never having to take all the blame yourself.
It means you didn't do anything and it's the rest of the team's fault.

4.Speak softly and carry a big stick, you will go far.
I'm sure that the one who said this wasn't thinking at what I'm thinking.And I ain't saying what I'm thinking.

5.Money can’t buy you happiness.
But it sure sustains it.

6.Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
And sometimes it just stinks.

7.There is a light at the end of every tunnel.
And it's a damn train.

8.Happiness is the best face lift.
If you're to happy (gay) eventually some is gonna come and lift your face(your nose to be more precise).

9.The mind is like a parachute.
It doesn’t work unless it’s open.

10.Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.
Teacher talk...students sleep.

Didaskaleinophobia

2009-11-23T23:51:00.004+02:00

This a dreadful disease..spread all around the world...everybody surfers from it...well..almost everybody who doesn't suffer from it suffers from geekness the only cure for this one is a silver bullet in the head.

Didaskaleinophobia is the fear of attending school and it had terrorized humans since the beginning of time.

Symptoms that you contacted didaskaleinophobia:
-you feel dizziness and your feet shaking when you're around the school;
-the constant need to go at the toilet;
-your heart beats faster;
-excessive sweating;
-living with the fear that you could die any moment hit by a spitball.

Ways to cure it:
It a very long and hard procedure:

-you have to take a short vacation and it's important you don't hear anything related to school.NO smartass jokes,NO references to how hard it is at school,NO teacher names.

-when you go back to school the first weeks you have to sleep during classes;

-and finally in the last 2 weeks of school you can start attending classes.

After the Summer Break you have to start all over again.

In the past days I've been busy and I couldn't post anything,soon I'm gonna start posting daily again.

How to see if a man is gay

2009-11-19T22:00:00.002+02:00

These signs will help you in life...hopefully if your a man your best friend isn't gay.
If he is...the if you really are his best friend...put him out of his misery.

1.If a man talks a lot about your muscles and keep trying to touch them.That ain't right.

2.If a man eats a banana and talks about sex with another man.

3.If he makes a strange squeak if he's scared.

4.If a man assists in a discussion about how other men look with women.

5.When a man has a rainbow in his room.

6.Considers a fruitcake as being a nice gift.

7.Has a funny German accent.

Signs that you're talking with a stupid person

2009-11-17T20:55:00.004+02:00

Until now I met a lot of stupid people,so I can easily see whether I'm talking with somebody or I'm just discussing politics with a vegetable.I'm not a genius planet,but some people are really stupid.

1.When you make fun of them,they they say:
"You're just making fun of me..."
you say :
"No,I'm not...I swear."
they say:
"Oh...(thinking)...OK."

-When you discuss something serious with them,they look very lost,trying to understand the fundamentals of the universe and what the fuck you're saying.

-When the only answer you her from them is "yes" or "I agree".Now you see the similarities between stupid people and politicians?

-Their gonna do about anything you tell them.

-When that person talks a lot and you don't understand anything.Again do you see the similarities between stupid people and politicians?

-When they try to use very complicated words and end up saying funny stuff.
"As Medulla oblongata influences our tintinnabulation which is quintessential we reached the conclusion that cookies are good...AAA...God Bless America!"

-When you have the sensation that you're talking with a tree.

-Always have a dumb impression on their face.

Inspired by the best.:D

Parody Religions

2009-11-16T21:04:00.000+02:00

1.Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, also known as Pastafarianism, a parody of intelligent design.
I consider that spaghetti is very important but dudes...

2.Frisbeetarianism, a belief system created by American comedian George Carlin. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul is metaphorically tossed on a roof and simply stays there.
I know how that feels.

3.Invisible Pink Unicorn, a parody of theist definitions of God. It also highlights the arbitrary and unfalsifiable nature of religious belief, in a similar way to Russell's teapot.

Hey hey hey this one is real ,because I know that the pink unicorn takes you to the leprechauns pot of gold.

4.Last Thursdayism, a joke version of omphalism, created to demonstrate problems with unfalsifiable beliefs.
I know what you did last Thursday.

5.The Church of Google claiming Google is the closest thing human beings could find for a God.
Well we do find all our answers on Google.And if we die we will end up in supercomputer(heaven) or a 1gb memory stick(hell).

6.The Cult of Michael Jackson Translates Michael Jackson songs into parody scriptures. Teaches that if believers follow these translations it will lead to an enlightened life and bring peace on earth.
"All shall bring their children to me,or die slain by my nose."

7.The Dragon In My Garage coined by astronomer and astrochemist Carl Sagan.
I don't know about the dragon in my garage,but that Sandwich monster from under my bed really scares me.

8.The Great Pumpkin, a Santa Claus–like being in the comic strip Peanuts, an application of Christmas mythology to Halloween.

Real letters sent to landlords

2009-11-12T16:43:00.002+02:00

While I was at school I keep thinking how stupid can some people be,then I though of some funny letters I wrote and I found this on the internet.

1."Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."

2."I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my nob off."

3."This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."

4."I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."

5."I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."

6."Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."

7."When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."

8."The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."

My Shop

2009-11-11T13:10:00.002+02:00

21st Century Fail

2009-11-09T21:04:00.000+02:00

Click on the image for a better view.

Daughter:"Mom...how can I get pregnant?"
Mom:"Well from where the fuck should I know,you're adopted..now go in your room and Google it."

Important corporative lessons 2

2009-11-08T19:23:00.002+02:00

Lesson 3:

A bird was migrating south for the winter.
Being very cold the bird couldn't fly anymore and felt on a field.

While she was freezing to death on the ground a cow passed by and covered her in turd.

The bird realized that the turd kept her warm and started to feel better.Happy,she started to sing.

Then a cat passed near the turd and heard her singing so she went to see what's going on.

The cat found the bird,took her out of the turd,cleaned her then ate her.

From this we can reach 3 conclusions:

1.Not everybody who bury you in shit is an enemy.
2.Not everybody who take's yo out of shit is your friend.
3.When you're in deep shit,shut up!

Important corporative lessons 1

2009-11-07T23:37:00.007+02:00

Three very important lessons in life.(which indubitably is a bitch).

Lesson 1:

One day a crow was staying on top of a tree without doing anything.
Then a rabbit came and asked him if he can stay near the tree without doing anything.
The crow answers :"Sure,why not?"
After a few minutes a fox appears and eats the rabbit.

Conclusion:To sit without doing anything you have to be above,high above.

Lesson 2:

A turkey really wanted to get on top of a tree.One day a bull said that if he eats his turd he will have enough power to reach the top of that tree.
The turkey tastes a bit an realizes that it gives him strength and so he managed to reach the first branch,the next day he took a bigger bite and managed to reach the second branch and after he ate a lot of it he managed to reach the top of the tree.

The next day a farmer shoot him so he could take him down.

Conclusion: Eating shit will help you reach the top,but it doesn't guarantee you're gonna stay there.

I'll tell you the last lesson in the next post.

Quotes about stupidity

2009-11-07T09:01:00.002+02:00

Very touching quotes.

-"Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education."
Bertrand Russell

-"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."
Thomas Szasz

-"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
George Bernard Shaw

-"Only in Britain could it be thought a defect to be 'too clever by half.' The probability is that too many people are too stupid by three-quarters."
John Major

-"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."
Confucius

-"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
Albert Einstein

The Man Code

2009-11-06T00:10:00.000+02:00

1.Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.

2.Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3.Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4.Any man eating a banana while talking with another man can be considered gay.

5.You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call B*LLSH$T. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%)

6.If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

7.The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

8.Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

9.No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

10.Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

11.Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

12.If a man dates his buddy's "ex" without permission ,that man is a backstabber and can be legally killed.

13.If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't see nothing.

14.It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free...and you get a beer with it.

15.Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

16.If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

17.Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!", "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!", "Another set and we can hit the showers." " Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

18.Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just mean.

19.Never leave a friend to drink alone

20.Unlocking a car door for another man is polite. Opening it is gay.

Stupid Students Essays

2009-11-05T00:10:00.000+02:00

I didn't really know what to write about today and then I thought of what I wrote in some of my essays.Then I though i can't be the only person on this planet that writes bullshit in his essays,so I googled it and here's my post.

Probably in the next post I'll write my stupid things from essays.

1.The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

2.The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinness, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked, "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

3.Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

4.One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the War, the Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.

5.The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code of telepathy. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

Stupid Celebrity Quotes

2009-11-04T00:10:00.000+02:00

When a person makes a mistake it makes a few people laugh,but when celebrities make a mistake they make they entire world laugh.

-Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
Miss Alabama, 1994 Miss USA Pageant

-"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researches also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
Mat Lauer, Today Show, NBC

-"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

-"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields

-"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Jason Kidd, Dallas Mavericks

-"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
Hillary Clinton

-"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."...no shit?I would have never though of that.
Charles De Gaulle, former French President

-"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
Marion Barry, Washing, D.C. Mayor

-"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President

That dude with long hair(or whatever it is) scares me.

The trip,the sea and me

2009-11-02T21:02:00.003+02:00

This summer when I went in Syria and Jordan and there I visited many places ,but all the funny stuff (well funny for others) happened at the seas.Oh yeah and I'm kinda afraid of deep water mean you can't see wtf is down there.

In Syria I went at the Mediterranean Sea.

My father didn't like going at resorts because there were to many people,so he took me in places he went when he was young.

The first place.he woke me up around 7 AM and told me to get my shorts on and get in the car.We went at a beach which was almost empty,so I took my T-shirt off and ran in the water.I started swimming then when I made a break in 5 minutes after I put my foot on the ground I felt like I was sinking in the sand,for a moment I thought it was just me ,but then I felt the sand over my ankle,I managed to pull my legs out of the sand and swam at the shore.Then I talked with my dad.

Me"Dad,Wtf?I started to sink in the sand.Did you forget to tell me something?

Dad"Oh,yeah...well..aaa..didn't I tell you? In a few places the sand's moved by the water very fast so if where you're staying the water has 2 feet next to you it might have 6 feet,or sometimes the sand piles over your legs,so you can't stay more than 3 minutes in one place.I probably should have told you that."

Me"No shit!".

Second Place: This time we went around 6 PM,again it was a place where he used to swim when he was young,this time I asked him if there is anything he wasn't to tell me about that place.he said this time no surprises.I don't like it when he says that.

After we got there he gave me a snorkel and a mask because it was a good place for scuba diving.I decided that it would be better to swim a bit before scuba diving, I told my dad that he;s jumping first.

In the water I kept feeling things pinching me,I thought those were fish,but then i look around and realized that there weren't more than 10 people on the whole beach then I saw a sign,my dad said:
Dad"I don't think you want to know what's written on that sign."
Me"Amaze me"
Dad"Vally of the Jellyfish."
I put my mask on and looked under water,I think there were more than a 100 jellyfish around us.
Me"Are you insane god damn it?"
Dad"What I didn't see that sign before."
I think I never swam that fast in my whole life.That explained the pinching.

In Jordan I visited the Dead sea which I think everyone knows that it has the saltiest water in the world.
Dad"I bet 20$ you can't jump in the water and open your eyes after."

Without saying anything I ran and jumped in the water ,it was odd because the water pushed me up very fast,but when I opened my eyes ,I can't describe the feeling,my eyes hurt so bad that I couldn't open them 10 minutes,my dad rapidly came after me in the water and washed my eyes with normal water.
Dad"Wtf did you do that for?"
Me"Hey,you made that bet with me so you'd better have the money ready when I can open my eyes."

That's about it,I'll try to remember more fun stuff from my trips.

Reasons why men love guns more than women

2009-10-31T15:29:00.005+02:00

I'll probably be called many names for this post,but it's too funny not to be posted.

15.You can dance with another woman without the gun shooting at you.

14.You don't invest a lot of money in guns and it won't go with someone else.

13.Guns can be used even when drunk.

12.A gun knows how to deal with somebody that makes fun of it.

11.A gun doesn't have to be sexy to kill.

10.You can trade an old .44 for a new 22.

9.You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

8.If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

7.Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

6.Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

5.A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

4.Guns function normally every day of the month.

3.A gun doesn't ask, 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'.

2.A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

1.YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN.

Many of them weren't made by me.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T14:35:00.003+02:00

I hope all of you are gonna have a happy Halloween full of candy and...well candy.

Costumes I recommend:
I'm sure that these costumes are gonna scare the crap out of people

-Mothers in law costume;
-Rick Roll costume;
-Paris Hilton;
-A clown ,I honestly find clowns very scary,I can't stand them.

I'll add to the list later until then have fun.

Tips for a goodnight's sleep

2009-10-31T13:04:00.002+02:00

I tried all the following tips and they work more or less,so you could say their scientifically tested.

The old warm glass of milk doesn't work nowadays,it' just gonna make you wake up to go an take a piss.

1.An option would be to drink until you pass out,but waking up will be a problem.

2.Running towards a wall ram style is sure gonna make you sleep a while.And you're also gonna win a free turban.

3.Watch religious channels in bed,that's sure gonna make you sleep.Did you know that Christian Rock existed?It's lamer than Rick Roll.

4.Tell your grandpa or somebody to tell you how it was at war,or how thir life was when they were young.

5.Close the computer,the TV,the monitor because even though you can't see the light during the day,at night it can disturb you while sleeping even if you don't realize that.

6.Take a long hot bath before going to sleep when you're really tired.Remember toasters don't heat the water.

7.Sleep in your bed.

Things you shouldn't do at a prom

2009-10-29T14:52:00.001+02:00

Yesterday I went to the Freshman's prom and I saw things which people shouldn't do on proms.I mean some things are really fucked up.

First of all don't get too drunk,"too" is the key word,if you menage to make a difference between a plant and a toilet.
Anyways they main idea is not to get too wasted because you're gonna end up dancing with a she-whale.I think that was the grousest thing I've seen last night.

Alcohol can be a bitch sometimes.

Don't mess with the bodyguards because their gonna throw you out,although it's funny to mess with them.

Don't take your girlfriend/boyfriend with you,it's like taking your wife at a bachelor party,she/he is gonna stay near you and won't let you do anything and is they don't want to dance you can't dance neither can you.

Don't give alcohol too an idiot,you're gonna have him on your consicence, although it's funny to see a man dancing alone.

Things I realized until now

2009-10-25T23:01:00.005+02:00

During the past years I realized many things,some of them very important:

-The fact that faring alone isn't fun,neither is watching movies.

-I realized that telling a girl she's fat gets you in a lot of shit, sometimes literally speaking.

-Eating sandwiches found under the bed not knowing since their there might get you in a "shitty" situation.

-You don't mess with Mother Nature,Mother Russia or God damned Mother In Law's.

-Math kills a lot of brain cells.

-Concentrating on a thing/human won't make them explode.

-I realized that my imagination sooner or later is gonna cause me a hart attack.
I mean holy crap sometimes at night I can't look outside the window because I think I'm gonna see a beheaded ghost(and I don't even watch horror movies)or worse... my future mother in law.

Sometimes it really sucks to have a lot of imagination.

-The fact that cleaning is useless.

-The chances of getting killed with a nail clipper are getting higher every day.

In my imagination she was harrier and had horns.And had a nail clipper.

A List Of Rappers and Gang Affiliation

2009-10-25T20:35:00.005+02:00

A lot of famous rappers or not have been associated with different gangs across US.Some of them, as they gained notoriety revealed their affiliation.Or,as you know many used their afilliation , or fake affiliation as a marketing instrument.Any updates for the list are welcome as always.

Kelly Park Compton Crips : Eazy-E,MC Ren,Tweedy Bird Loc, Lil Nation(from CPO),AWOL (from Nationwide Rip Ridaz)
Rollin' 20's Crips : Snoop Dogg,Goldie Loc,Warren G,The Dove Shack
Rollin' 60's Crips : Kurupt,CJ Mac,Ice Cube,Kieta Rock,Tha Comradz
21st Street Crips : Daz Dillinger
19th Street Crips : Lil' C Style
Insane Crips : Tray Deee,Battlecat,Bad Azz,Swoop G
LBC Crips : Slip Capone,So Sentrelle,Lil' 1/2 Dead
Hoover Crips : South Central Cartel,Ice-T
Corner Pocket Crips : Coolio
111 Neighborhood Crips : W.C.
Nutty Blocc Compton Crips : B.G. Knocc Out,Dresta
South Side Compton Crips : Tone Loc
Tragnew Park Compton Crips : MC Eiht
Inglewood Imperial Village Crips : Big Syke
NHC 47 Blocc Crips (San Diego) : Jay-O Felony
Garden Blocc 19th Street Crips (Sacramento) : C Bo
P.J. Riverside Crips : New Breed Of Hustlas
357 Crips (Pomona) : Kokane
Atlantic Drive Crips : Scarface
Oakland Crips : Richie Rich
Palmdale Crips : Afroman
Crips : Da Lench Mob,Watts Gangsters,Kausion,Kam,Above The Law
Crips Black Mafia Family : Fabolous
WSGC 124 Crips Black Mafia Family : Young Jeezy

Cedar Block Pirus Bloods : The Game
Mob Piru Bloods : $uge Knight
Compton Tree Top Piru Bloods : Dj Quik,Hi C
Campanella Park Piru Bloods : Mausberg
Queen St Inglewood Bloods : Mack 10
Inglewood Family Bloods : All Frum Tha I,Tha Relativez,The Roaddawgs
Compton Piru Bloods : Tha Realest,Top Dogg,G.P.
89th Street Family Bloods : B-Real (Cypress Hill),Sinister
Pacioma Piru Bloods : Terror Twinz
Bounty Hunter Bloods : O.F.T.B.
Skyline Piru Bloods : Nuttz
Elm Street Piru Bloods : 2nd II None
West Side Piru Bloods (Carson Samoan Warriors) : Boo-Ya Tribe
Crenshaw Mafia Gangsta Blood : Lil' Hawk,Big Wye
Denver Lane Bloods : Damu Ridaz
Bloods : Sen Dog (Cypress Hill),DMX,2Pac (Tupac Shakur Amaru)

Black Spades : Afrika Bambaataa

South Los Angeles Sureños : Brownside
Sureños : Mr. Criminal

Norteno San Fer : Capone

Vice Lords : Twista

Gangster Disciples : Ca$his

List made by a friend.

I believe that one day the war between Crips and Bloods will end.

Belch Types

2009-10-25T12:13:00.003+02:00

Definition:To expel gas loudly or rudely from the stomach through the mouth. aka Burp

There are many types of burps and we burped even when we were toddlers.I think I started even before I was born.

So I'll start from the cutest and end with the most terrifying and grouse burp.

1.The Baby Burp:
You know when the parents keep their babies son their shoulders and makes them burp.Sometimes puke.It depends when the parent showered last time.

2.The Beginners Burp:
When someone doesn't know how to burp "correctly" and makes a funny sound which doesn't really sound like a burp.

3.The Beer Burp:
It doesn't have a bad smell it usually smells like beer ,but the nice part at it is that it can be hard from long distances,usually used to signal someone's presence.

4.The "Fuck Off" Burp:
I use this one a lot,similar to the beer burp but not only that it can be heard from long distances but it also has a disgusting smell.

I usually do them during class,burping with my mouth closed the just blowing the smell to others,it really help if you're bored.

--->For maximum efficiency to be used in targets face<---

5.The Suicidal Burp:
This burp usually come after mixing onion,garlic,meatballs and coke.I call it suicidal because once while I was sitting at the computer I burped and it smelt worse than a fart,I mean Holy Crap I almost puked.

But it can be used to kill others if you keep it inside until you reach the target so you can burp in his face.

List made by BlackSnow

Man's Biggest Mistakes

2009-10-23T21:08:00.003+03:00

1.Man's first biggest mistake is telling a woman she's fat or dumping her on a date.

2.Some of them failing to appreciated what God gave them and using it the wrong way.
You get it.

3.Trusting a blonde.

4.Creating nuclear warhead .

5.Thinking that he's intelligent...
Even the smartest man on earth can be considered stupid.

6.Taking a woman/man/shemale/maleshe(not sure about these)... home when drunk.

7.Believing every god damn thing they hear at the news.

This is just a short list of man's mistakes.The list is endless.

May the Fork be with you.The Fork is within you,you just need to find it.

This ain't a man but dogs are man's best friend so it can be explained.

Adam and Eve Joke

2009-10-23T20:03:00.005+03:00

How it all started.

One day God told Adam :

"You can't live alone forever,if you give me one arm,one leg and a kidney I'm gonna create the perfect match for you,a "WOMAN" which will always help you,cook,take care of your children and do the house work."

Then Adam asked:

"What can I get for a rib?"

Fart types

2009-10-22T14:03:00.004+03:00

Farting is a tricky thing,you never know how it's gonna come or how.

1.We have the Silent Assassin,although it's silent the terror and pain it causes is unimaginable ,indoors it can reach a range of 5-10 meters in less than 2 minutes.Most people don't survive them.

2.Bubble fart:
You sometimes think that you have to take a shit,but when you go the toilet you feel like a bubble appears in your ass then nothing come's out.And it usually doesn't stink.

3.Big Kahuna:
I call it like this because of the sound it makes,this type of fart usually get's out in silent public places where everybody can hear you.

4.Wet fart:
This one usually come out nasty ,it gives you the impression that you messed up your underwear,although sometimes it's not just an impression.

5.The KFC Fart:
This one is stinky and painful ,after eating some spicy food from KFC when you less expect it ,it will come and when it comes not even God knows what's gonna happen.

6.The "Holy Mother Of Crap!"Fart :
Usually comes after eating a lot of canned beans with hot pepper,not only that it make a" holy mother of crap" sound but it also stinks like that.

7.Strategic Bomb Drop Fart:
You need a lot of skill for this one,it's not so loud and not so stinky ,usually done on purpose just to annoy or just to tell someone to Fuck Off in a stylish way.

8.Under Water Fart :
Appears in romantic moments and it stinks.It can be used for fishing,one fart in the water and half of the ocean is gonna stay with it's belly up.

Caution!
Don't Fart Near Open Fire Extremely Inflammable.

P.S. Women fart as much as men do.

Made By BlackSnow

Superstitions

2009-10-19T14:37:00.002+03:00

In time human ~~kind~~ stupidity invented a lot of ridiculous superstitions to scare other people or just to give them hope.Which doesn't really matter because none of them really work.

Some which are well known:

-If a black cat crosses your path you will have bad luck.
Only if you hit it with your car and ruin your paint job.Or if it jumps from a tree right on you and scares the holy crap out of you.Happened to me.

-That garlic protects from evil spirits and vampires.
And it also protects you from going out on dates.

-To break a mirror will bring you seven years bad luck.
Well if that person is so damn ugly that he/she managed to break that mirror I'd say they have more than 7 years of bad luck coming.

-If you walk under a ladder, you will have bad luck.
Only if on the ladder there is a fat ass worker which farts when you walk under it or if you're really lucky he might just fall on you.Pancake style.

-If the flame of a candle flickers and then turns blue, there's a spirit in the room.
Or someone just farted.

-Washing a car will bring rain.
This isn't a superstition this is one of Murphy's laws.

-If a person experiences great horror, their hair turns white.
That's usually called marriage or children.

Damn Bastards

2009-10-18T19:41:00.002+03:00

wtf is their problem with Muslims?

Random Joke Day

2009-10-17T02:18:00.002+03:00

1.An actor asked his director:"What do you think,how did I kill Desdemona?"
Director:"You killed her,but I think you killed Shakespeare first."

2."Sir ,sir why are you leaving? the play hasn't finished yet."
"That's the reason I'm leaving."

3.Why didn't Bruce Willis play in the Titanic?
Because he would have saved everyone from death.

4.Two drunk men meet:
1:"Did you have breakfast this morning?"
2:"Nope,not a single drop."

5.Two drunk men meet at night.
1:"Tell is that white thing on the sky the Moon?"
2:"I don't know I'm not from this neighborhood."

I love my country III

2009-10-15T16:21:00.004+03:00

God's shovel.

Pus the pedal to the metal.We're losing them.

Fresh meat.

I can see what the problem is,we don't have an engine,try starting it again.

I'm in pursuit.

I love this country part 2

2009-10-13T14:44:00.005+03:00

Can you see any alligators?

Let's see if my wife went shopping.

An Outlaw.Living her life at the edge.

They see me rollin..they hatin'.

Tell us when you find oil.

Useless things

2009-10-12T19:57:00.005+03:00

I reached the conclusion that this planet is useless because we do useless thing,we have useless things and there are even useless people.

Useless thing we do:

-Wars...I mean beside the fact that it's only a waste of lives and money,it bring after it more wars.
And when you think that a war can start from anything,maybe the World War II started because at a meeting they started calling each other names
Baby Eaters - China,
Panty Face - Germany.

-Nuclear Warhead...even though we know that if many of them would be launched at the same time nothing good can happen ,and the nations are still producing them,nowadays I think everybody has one under their house.The house just opens the roof on there goes the nuke.

Useless Things we have:

-Nipples on men,this is what other people say,but I say that nipples on men are very useful without them we couldn't make nipple twisters.It would be harder in combat without them.

-Body hair,this kinda is useless,I we mean anyway we shave it from everywhere ... EVERYWHERE and beside the fact that it's E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E and it hurts when you pull it out.

I always though of the human as being a baboon with harry butt.

Useless people:

People with no souls that produce nothing of any substance or value to the human race and just live to fill the empty places or maybe some are determined by the society.

Such people would be :
-The Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana,
-EMO people(in course of extinction),
-George W.Bush,this idiot didn't help the society with nothing,
-Samwell

I love this country

2009-10-12T15:55:00.002+03:00

How to get high easy and cheap

2009-10-09T19:24:00.007+03:00

You don't know what to do with your free time? You really want to get high but you don't have the cash for the crack? Alcohol isn't enough for you?

I have the answer to all your problems.

-You can easily get high by hitting the wall with your head and not only that you'll be high but you could also win a free trip to the loony bin.

-Drink pure alcohol that will sure take you in a another world in a few moments but your stomach and liver might not still be in this world the next day.But hey,what the hell?

-Climb a tree then you're really gonna be high,especially if you can't climb down.

-Start smoking everything you have in the kitchen until you find the perfect combination of ingredients.

-Go in the managers office (just for the lols) sit on his chair and starts spinning,the easiest way to get high.

-There's a medicine for women Tantum Rosa but if you drink it the medicine gives you a few hours of hallucinations.

But if you really have all the problems then you are person with a lot of issues and I don't recommend you follow advice from this post.

Promoting some MUSIC

2009-10-09T09:10:00.001+03:00

This is a song made by a friend and we just want to hear some opinions.So please share your thoughts.

Purple Iris

2009-10-08T17:55:00.002+03:00

School's Boring And It Sucks

2009-10-05T20:45:00.003+03:00

In the last 3 weeks of school everyday I have to go through the same things ,go at school at 8am ,from 8am to 2-3 Pm stay and listen,although around 12 I usually fall asleep.

Sometimes school can be so boring not only because the teacher talk to much but also because sometimes we have to learn something which we won't ever use in life.Like math,we need math but not so complicated,I mean if I get lost on a island in the middle a nowhere the square root under a radical of a damn coconut won't do me any good neither is Pythagoras theorem gonna build me a boat.

Match isn't the only useless thing we do at school there is Entrepreneurship Education,maybe at other school the do something but at mine the teacher just tells us from where we can get a CV example and...that's about the whole damn thing.I can do that on my own.

Anyway during classes I hate it when I'm really tired then I start hearing the teacher in slow motion and after a few minutes i can't hear anything then I fall asleep.And I wake up after 2 min thinking that I've slept half a hour.

Thing to do when bored in class:
-make bugger balls and throw at the colleague in front of you,
-start drawing random things on your notebook,
-sleep,
-I used to like chewing paper and sticking it on the ceiling,you never know when it's gonna fall,
-study the anatomy of a fly,
-stare at the teacher,

This video shows exactly how a day at school is ... well except for the part with saying out loud the thing about the girl with big boobs.

Chinese zodiac

2009-10-03T20:25:00.004+03:00

Chinese people have the coolest zodiac,although I can't get out of my mind the fact that they eat babies.The bastard...

Anyway, I just found out that In the Chinese zodiac I'm Monkey,and I totally agree with it ,it really characterizes me.

First of all I like bananas...which doesn't really have anything to do with that but I also like looking for flees in my hair...wait...damn it.

Features:

Curiosity - well there is a saying in Romania :"Curious people die fast",I proved it's wrong...although it brings you to near death experiences often.

Mischievousness - I do like making jokes ,and indeed sometimes people get pissed off...but it wouldn't be fun if they wouldn't get pissed.(P.S. I googled this word,to complicated)

Cleverness - Einstein Ain't got shit on me.

It says that when it comes to work,Monkey can do just about anything and their right, I adapt faster than an Indian.

As career I can be a scientist, engineer, stock market trader, air traffic controller, dealer, film director, jeweler and sales representative.

Probably they aren't referring at the same dealer I'm thinking off.As for air traffic controller...considering that I'm half Arab I don't think anybody is gonna hire me.

If I become a scientist I'll probably be the first man who invented the pocket nuclear device.

Blonde Jokes

2009-10-03T13:17:00.003+03:00

1.Two blondes went in a forest looking for a Christmas tree.
After a few hours of searching without finding anything one says:
You know something?I think all the decorated one's are already taken.

2.How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A:Put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.
B:Give her to read a paper which has written on both sides "Read on the other side".

3.Why does a brain cell die in a blondes head?
Nobody can live alone.

4.Why are there two foot steps on a computer screen?
A blonde tried to go online.

5.Two blondes were talking:
B1:Have you ever look in your husbands eyes while having sex?
B2:Yes,of course.
B1:And what expression did he have on his face?
B2:Well he was staring at me from the door.

Birds

2009-09-30T23:09:00.002+03:00

I think this is the best picture I've ever taken.

Time's not wasted when youre getting wasted II

2009-09-30T10:00:00.000+03:00

Last weekend I went drinking with a friend,I don't usually drink,not only that my stomach hurts like hell the next day,but also that I tend to do stupid things when I'm drunk and it's also expensive to get drunk considering that I don't like beer.

Anyways,I started with a shot of tequila then I continued with 2 more and after a while I reached 10,at 10 a friend sitting with us lighted a paper on the table,this is what is was thinking in that moment:

"UUUU Pretty light,I wonder what happens if I touch it."

Even though I was drunk I can still remember everything ...well mostly...at least I didn't adopt a child or something...or did I?Holy Carp.

After almost all our friends went home we moved at another table and drank 2 more shots.After those suddenly everything seemed pretty,except for the stairs those suck,I almost fell when I left.

Later we went in a club where we meet with the friend from the PUB,I started dancing with myself,but I remember a lot of people touching my hair.That wasn't right.

Finally I left towards home and luckily I reached my destination without any casualties,when I got home I started washing the dishes,I can't really imagine what I was thinking at 4 am which made me wash the dishes.My mom saw me and said that I should come more often drunk home.

At least nobody drew anything on my face and I didn't make any tattoos on my ass.

Confucius Man Says

2009-09-28T15:49:00.005+03:00

Since today is "Confucius day" I decided to write some confucius things.

"When man stay behind car,man get exhausted."

"When man stay in front of car,man get tired."

"Man who come home late with no flowers bound to keep dog company."

"Man who fly airplane upside-down bound to have crack up"

"When man keep hand in pocket feel cocky all day."

"Wife who puts man in dog house may find him in cat house."

"Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck."

"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there."

"Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner."

Things you should do when you're bored

2009-09-27T12:37:00.002+03:00

When I'm really bored my imagination starts working and when I'm really bored thing don't usually end well.

Prank calling is really funny and also addictive ,but sometimes if you have my luck for example, out of 25 calls ,3 of them will be relatives and recognized your voice.I mean holly crap I was calling random numbers.

When you prank call people don't do it on the cell phone,and tell people to do stupid things such as:
-measuring how tall is their refrigerator.
-how long is the cable from the phone to the TV.
-or tell them that they won something,then at the end something like"Oh,what was your name again?oh I think we got the wrong number."
-once me and some friends called another friend and told him that he was recruited in the army.He almost pissed himself.We kept him more than 30 minutes on the phone.

But to do these you need to be serious when talking with the victim.
Oh yeah,doing prank calls alone isn't fun,3 persons at least.When I was smaller I used to do prank calls with my dad.

2.Or you could just read jokes on the Internet or watch some stand up comedies.

I strongly recommend you watch Bill Cosby - Himself(1982) Stand-up,that man is a genius.I suggest you download it from somewhere,it's better than watching it on the internet.
I also recommend Eddie Murphys Stand-up comedies from 1983 and 1987 and Chris Rock's stand-ups.

Lawyer Jokes

2009-09-26T09:59:00.002+03:00

A movie with the name "The devils advocate" was made,but they didn't know that all of them are the devils advocate.

1.Why don't lawyers go at the beach?
Because cat's keep trowing sand at them.

2.What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer?
Vampires suck blood only during the night.

3.When do you know that a lawyer is lying?
When he moves his lips.

4.A group of terrorist entered a hotel where a meeting of the best lawyers was taking place and took all of them as hostages,almost 500.Later the terrorist leader announced:
"If we don't get our money in 3 hours we will start releasing 1 lawyer/hour."

5.After a lawyer managed to help a well know thieve he sent him the bill.The tives writes him back:
"I think you misunderstood which one is the thieve here."

Morning

2009-09-25T18:16:00.000+03:00

Things you shouldn't do when you're alone

2009-09-23T20:21:00.003+03:00

I experienced almost all the things I'm gonna say ,so you could say their kind of ... scientifically tested.Anyway don't do them.

1.This one is the worst.Once I was alone and my mom called and told me that there is a small whole in the roof and I have to go up and repair it. Holy crap,how irresponsible can a parent be?I could have felled and died...or worst...wait.

Anyway,that didn't happen,but after I climbed up I accidentally pushed the ladder,epic I know,SO I just stood there watching the clouds waiting for somebody to come home and put the ladder back.
If you ever do this at least take a god dam phone with you.

2.Never make a barbecue if you're alone,I did it once and when the meat was almost ready I had to take a piss and I couldn't do it in the garden because the neighbors would have seen me,so I went in the house, until I came back the meat was on fire./facepalm.

3.Avoid making baths,every time I make bath and I'm alone home the phone has to ring,not the cell phone..the cell phone never rings when I'm taking a bath.And just when I answer the other person closes.

I don't think it's a person I think it's an IT which waits until people get in the bathtub then makes prank calls.Or maybe it's Murphy calling.

4.Never put something on the oven and leave from the kitchen,there are 99% chances that you're gonna forget it there.

5.Never exercises heroic maneuvers alone,because you're bound to do something stupid.

6.Never open the door to Jehovah's Witnesses you need more than 3 people to get them out of the house.

School Jokes

2009-09-22T00:33:00.002+03:00

1.School starts and in first grade the teacher wants to see if the pupils know how to count from 1 to 15, so she picks one:
The kid starts:"1,2,3,4...10,Ace,Jack,Queen,King...Joker?

2.Biology class:
Teacher:Which animal is the lion most scared of?
Pupil:Lioness,Ms.

3.Anatomy class:
Teacher:How are the last teeth which appear in the mouth called?
Pupil:Denture,sir.

3.Sociology class:
T:"We call a thief a person which steals from another person"-the teacher explained.
T:Shouts at a student-"You're not paying attention"
S:I am,sir.
T:Then what am I if I pull right now 100$ out of your pocket?
S:A wizard sir!

4.Physics class:
T:Today we will repeat Archimedes laws.
T:Tell me what happens if you enter a tub full of water?
P:The phone will ring?...

5.Religion class:
T:why did god create the man first?
P:So he could once in life talk freely.

Army Joke Day

2009-09-20T22:23:00.003+03:00

1.At war with German's,a man spots a German soldier well armed,so he hides in a well.The German come near the well so the soldier hiding there thinks he should act like an echo.And so the German started:

G:Is some down there?
A:Is some down there?
G:I should go in the forest.
A:I should go in the forest.
G:But first I should throw a grenade.
A:But first you should go in the forest.

2.The officer from the recruiting center asks a young soldier.

O:What's wrong with your eye?
S:It an artificial eye,sir.
O:And whats is it made of?
S:It's made out of glass,sir.
O:Ohh ...well of course you have to see thorough it.

3.The general asks:
G:Soldier,what do you have to do when you hear the commend:"Volunteers make one step forward"?
S:I step aside so that the volunteers can step forward,sir.

4.The Sargent asks a soldier:
Sarge:Tell me soldier,why isn't it allowed to smoke inside the base?
S:You're perfectly right,why isn't it....?

5.The Sargent a bit nearsighted said:
Sarge:Attention!This goes for you too,the one with the red cap from the back.
S:Sir,that's a hydrant.
Sarge:He can be what he want's,here even those who finished high school must obey.

Plant a bomb not a tree

2009-09-20T14:44:00.000+03:00

Happy Pirate's Day

2009-09-19T20:26:00.003+03:00

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho,
thieves and beggars,
never shall we die.

The king and his men
stole the queen from her bed
and bound her in her Bones.
The seas be ours
and by the powers
where we will we'll roam.

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never shall we die.

Some men have died
and some are alive
and others sail on the sea
with the keys to the cage...
and the Devil to pay
we lay to Fiddler's Green!

The bell has been raised
from it's watery grave...
Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?
We are a call to all,
pay head the squall
and turn your sail toward home!

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never shall we die.

I usually sing this song before I'm taken to the principal's office.

Flower

2009-09-19T19:34:00.001+03:00

I was looking throw some photos and I found my Summer Flowers Collection. I like snow, but I like photographing flowers more.

Which reminds me of my Deviant art account.(click here)

Damn you Google

2009-09-19T13:58:00.003+03:00

WTf do people have with Pakistanis and Chinese people? ignoring the fact that Chinese people eat babies.

Other uses for a condom

2009-09-19T00:19:00.003+03:00

After you use a condom it's not necessary to throw it,you can wash it and use it in other way,but don't put it on again.During this economical crisis we have to recycle everything.

1.You can carry fish in it.
2.you can freeze a Popsicle in it.Yum Yum.
3.You can use it as a trap for snakes and mice.
5.Put it on a bottle make a few holes and you have a watering can.
4.You can put it on as a mask.Make a few holes in it.
6.Make a swimsuit out of it.Id chose banana.
7.use it a as a jelly mold.
8.You can put it on a can of coke or a bottle of beer so it won't go flat.
9.It can be used as a coin bag.
9.You can stuff food in it so it will keep it hot and juicy.
10.It can be inflated and used a beach ball.

Hi5 FAIL

2009-09-17T20:57:00.000+03:00

This really is a hi5 fail,or is it?

School makes people die faster

2009-09-14T22:19:00.004+03:00

Only 3 days have passed since school started again and I thought of possibilities in which I can die faster at school than home.Schools are dangerous places,sometimes it's survival of the fittest.

So these are the ways I could die at school faster than home.

When I go at school I could get hit by a bicycle,car,tram,plane,comet even by a damn frozen shit coming from outer space,but if I stay home and watch TV none of these can hit me..well maybe the comet.

When I change classes I could trip and fall on the stairs and break something,home the only place I can fall from is my bed.

At computer classes I'm always afraid that those old computers might blow up and a CD would be thrown towards me.

In class I might get mad and after I turn in every color of the rainbow maybe my head will pop.One minute I'm there the next one I'm a Picasso painting on the wall.

I could get involved in a fight and get stabbed with a pen or a ruler.

My opinion,STAY HOME.

My zazzle products

2009-09-14T20:44:00.000+03:00

make custom gifts at Zazzle

Still working on some T-shirts.

Nasty Facts

2009-09-13T23:19:00.002+03:00

Since school starts tomorrow I decided to make this post with nasty facts.

1.If you don’t brush plaque off your teeth,it hardens into a substance called tartar which is like cement and impossible to remove with your toothbrush.

I believe those are called teeth grills and a lot of rapper have those.

2.To save space, 98 percent of dead Japanese people are cremated rather than buried.

Well considering how many they are they would need bunk cemeteries,so I guess it's easier to fry them.Who know?Maybe they send them a restaurant.Maybe they taste like chicken.

3.If you try to stop yourself from throwing up by closing your mouth, the vomit will just come out of your nose.

But what happens if we hold our nose too?

4.People in ancient China ate mice as a delicacy.

Now they moved on to dogs,cats and rats.

5.Cockroaches taste through their feet.

I wouldn't wish to be a cockroach if I stepped in shit.

6.A cockroach can live for a week after its head is cut off.

A mother in law doesn't die if you poison her,shoot her,cut her head of put her in a a plastic bag and throw her in the ocean.Scientifically tested.

7.In 1740, a cow found guilty of witchcraft was hanged.

"The cow made yogurt instead of milk,it's a witch I tell you."

8.There are 100 million times more insects than people on earth and their total weight is 12 times the total weight of people.

Don't these people have anything else to do ,you know stay with they family,grow a plant anything else besides calculating how may insects we have on this planet.

Swimming Place Fail

2009-09-13T14:59:00.004+03:00

Holy mother of frozen balls.Maybe he thought he was a medieval warrior which had to kill the ice using his axe and stay naked as a camouflage.

Sunset

2009-09-12T22:11:00.000+03:00

This is the second perfect sunset I've seen this year.

Basketball Fail

2009-09-12T00:32:00.002+03:00

Dunk that biatch.

Titanic Fail

2009-09-12T00:29:00.001+03:00

I believe I can touch the sky...well the bottom of the swimming pool.

Sleeping fail

2009-09-10T23:23:00.000+03:00

I think that sleeping with the dog would be better.

I think my neighbors are spies

2009-09-10T13:05:00.004+03:00

Yesterday all my neighbors were suspiciously friendly,they didn't say anything: when I accidentally threw my ball in their garden(again),when I made a barbecue and all the smoke when at them , they didn't have problems with me taking fruits out of their trees,not even when I was making their dog mad.

So I thought they might be spies,you know the original neighbors where replaced with clones which were trained to be friendly and to report everything I do,epic.Not that I would do something bad such as illegal experiments,building nuclear warhead or anything like that.If I'm half Arab it doesn't mean I do that,well not necessarily.

I'm actually building weapons of mass destruction such as:

-Farting in a giant jar,then I plan to throw it over ....something.

-Spread the EMO disease all over the world.

-Leave my sandwiches under my bead until I have an army of Sandwich Monsters.

*evil laugh**cough**spit hair ball*

Only in Romania part 2

2009-09-09T01:14:00.004+03:00

When I thought about my country I said it's bad,but after I thought more about it I realized that it sucks.BIG TIME!

Yesterday,while I was watching the news,I saw something very interesting and in the same time really stupid. A group of thieves which robbed a lot of places got caught and sent to jail.OK.But after 30 days they were released and right after they were out they started robbing again.They were caught again...and released the next day..now they stole again and got caught again.Probably they'll be released soon.
I can't manege to understand the stupidity of this country how can you release somebody after he robbed places,got caught,released and started to rob again.That's just stupid.Funny though,but in a sad way.

In Romania people are very religious...some of them are so religious that they feel forced to have a 3kg cross hanging on their necks.Maybe they want feel what Jesus felt when he carried the cross on his back.

But the funniest thing you'll ever see in Romania are the people wearing clothes from "famous brands" such as Gigolo Armani ,D&C ,Mike or GGuci...or the fake ass rappers which dress like 50 Pesos and pretend that they grew up in the hood with bitches and Bling Blings.

Mr.T ain't got shit on this guy.

Shitty life

2009-09-07T22:55:00.001+03:00

This happens when I get too bored:))

Adsense lol

2009-09-06T22:29:00.000+03:00

Who would like to look at criminal records?That's why I can't get any clicks.

Things you shoudn't do on a date

2009-09-06T14:12:00.001+03:00

Since now you know how to escape from a date,maybe you should think twice before leaving not because the fact that if she goes at her father crying you're gonna find yourself shot 9 time is the head cut into pieces and sleeping with Nemo...well this too...but maybe it won't be that bad if you stay.

1.Well first of all don't do what I wrote in the "How to escape from a date" post.

2.Don't go on a date dressed as you're ready to start the Olympic Games.

3.Don't say things like these:
-"You remind me of my first girl fried but you kinda look like the 9th one,nah you look exactly like my 28th girlfriend."
-"You remind my of my mother."
-"You remind my of my grandmother."
-"You look exactly like that girl which got killed by a flying shit."
-"I told a few friend to come here."
-"I remember when I was younger I got herpes from this restaurant."
-"Do I have to pay for you to?"
-"Holy Mother of Shit! That...thing in your plate is still moving."

4.Don't start talking about sports if she's not into them because then she's gonna start practicing some sports such as : Knife throwing,Frisbee with plates maybe even spoon and fork throwing.

5.Don't go dressed with tight pants and a pink T-shirt with a rainbow and unicorn on it...that's not to manly...only if you want to go and make your nails and hair with her.

Sex machine.I have to lol at this one too.LOL!

Grandma Fail

2009-09-05T13:02:00.002+03:00

See how well children and their grandparents get along?

Announcement!

2009-09-03T22:35:00.007+03:00

Before I write another post I want to know one thing,Do I have readers?, beside LazyKing and cybell,because it's not interesting to write for me. So if it doesn't boder you...can each reader leave a comment,with anything I don't care ."you suck","my mom's fat","my father beats me"....wait don't leave almost anything .Just so I know that I'm writing for more than 2 people,anyway thanks a lot for reading my blog LK and cybell.

Oh yeah If I have more than 15 readers then I can tell somebody "Haha!You your god damn face!"

Al Wadi-Rum

2009-09-02T14:27:00.008+03:00

There area few photos I made when I was at Al Wadi-Rum sunset camp in Jordan.It's said that here is the perfect place to view the sunset.

I already posted a picture of the the sunset here.

You can see these if you climb on a mountain.

Dear Fail

2009-09-02T14:02:00.002+03:00

This shows that not only in Russia English learns you.I made this picture at the Syrian border.

Sign Fail

2009-08-31T17:44:00.002+03:00

The only thing I understood from these signs is that men are running after little pigtailed girls at 40 miles/hour.

Blogging Award

2009-08-31T00:47:00.002+03:00

This award is from blogs which make my day better.

Scarlett's Walk Because for her making people laugh is as easy as walking.

Lazy king or here even when he's lazy he can make you laugh.

Rafael´s Fight Against a Mechanical Life Even at war he can make you laugh.

If you want you can put it somewhere on your blog/site.
And congratulation LazyKing for having so many followers and for your new site.

How to escape from a date/meeting

2009-08-31T00:02:00.003+03:00

Many time's you're going to find yourself at a date/meeting with nothing to do and you just want to escape,but just don't know how.But there always is a way to escape you just need imagination.

1.Date:

You can always stand up an leave but that might get you stabbed ,hit with the plate,soup in your pants and so on...to avoid all these you can just eat some onion or garlic before you go on a date,you can say any word and she/he is gonna leave,that or she/he is gonna faint,either ways you win.

Or you can be a complete asshole:talking with your mouth full,fart,start talking about grouse things.

Say that you want to go to the toilet and escape through the window.

2.Meeting:

Be late and they won't even let you in.

Or starts complaining about anything other people say.

Sleep during the meeting...well if you do this you could get fired,but HEY! you don't have to go at another boring meeting again.

Sunset

2009-08-29T13:21:00.002+03:00

Made by BlackSnow

How to tell a girl she's fat

2009-08-29T11:51:00.002+03:00

Well there are a lot of ways to tell a girl she's fat but it depends how suicidal you are.

So if you have a lot of balls .... you should probably visit a doctor,it's not ok to have more than two balls.But if you have a lot of courage you can just tell her she's fat.

If you go with her at shopping you can tell her:"If I where you I would go on XL".Only If you mange to survive the shopping,because I went once shopping with a girl and I'm never going to do that mistake again.NEVER.

If you take her out at a restaurant:"You should try the vegetables ,you know,low fat and that kind of stuff."But tell her before the waiter puts the tableware,you don't want to get stabbed with a fork or spoon.

If you visit her house:"Isn't that couch a bit to small for you?Anyway the door sure is.Have you ever though of going to the gym?"

Or "I'm sure you like singing",but maybe she won't get it.

Things that really piss me off on trips

2009-08-12T11:53:00.008+03:00

There's no better place like home.Actualy there is.

1.I hate when people talk in front of me in a language I can't understand.
I always think their making fun of me so then I starts making fun of them in Romanian.This year,in Jordan, I made fun of someone in Romanian,not surpsingly he knew Romanian.

2.Getting lost:with my dad driving it's easy to get lost,because when I tell him that we missed the road only after 5 minutes he agrees with me.

3.Having to go out with people I don't know.

4.Sleeping in a tent.My back still hurts from the last time I sleept in a tent.

5.Doing things which I don't have any idea how their done.Like roller skating. Because I know that I'm gona brake a few bones.

6.Going with my familly on a trip.Because it's hard to go on a trip with my little brothers,I always hear them "mom I have to pee","mom I have to poo","mom I want to eat ","mom I have to puke".I don't understand how my mom didn't suecide yet.

In conclusion it's better to stay home and sleep.

Syria

2009-08-05T12:08:00.002+03:00

Only one thing is for sure here, THIS IS ONE FUCKED UP COUNRY.

1.Here the people really love the president; everybody has a picture with him on the wall. Some people love him so much that they crash their car into his...A few days ago I managed to see how a taxi hit the presidents car...HOLY CRAP!...it's the god damned president, if a taxi managed to hit his car imagine how easy it would have been for a terrorist group to attack.

2.The women are strange here...not because their ugly...well that too. but they like to use a lot of make up and wear a lot of jewelry, I understand that they want to be "beautiful" with a lot of make up, when I was sitting in the car and a lady cocked at the window she was wearing so much make that she scared the crap out of me, almost literally speaking.
But I came up with a explication for the jewelry: the jewelry is so shinny that the men are blinded by it and can't see their face. This sounds reasonable

3.This country stinks, no really...it stinks, when people clean their houses I think they do the same thing I do when I clean my room, they clean the house but throw the trash in front of it.

4.American site's are forbidden here, fuck that, that's not fair, I had to use UltraSurf to
write this post .

The only nice and clean thing from here is the sea. When I see it I forget all the bad luck I had .when I'm going to return home I'm gona post a few funny and beautiful photos from here.

And I'm sorry but I can't return comments from here because the text box from the comments don't appear.

The Trip

2009-08-04T23:12:00.002+03:00

Finally after 2 weeks I found Internet, actually I found the next day I arrived here but it was limited on Syria, so I couldn't post anything.

Now I'm writing from a computer on which everything is upside down and I'm writing from right to left....which very uncomfortable so I'll probably have mistakes.

So... the trip...well we didn't even leave and we had problems...the day before we left the extra trunk (the thing you put on top of the car) cracked and it was almost ripped into 2 pieces ,and not having time to buy another one we left with it like that.

So the next day we tied the trunk and left. We had to Serbia and Bulgaria that day because my dad doesn't like Bulgaria , the problem was that we couldn't go over 120 km/h because then the trunk would open ,but the road through Serbia and Bulgaria wasn't bad ,the fun started only in Turkey.

We stayed 4 damn hours at the border because the guards went to pray and there was only one on duty anyways after we passed my father was to tired to continue the road so we sleep in the car,after he woke up we continued our road.NEVER chose the shortest way on the GPS,because once again it took us in the middle of nowhere so we lost a few hours that way.

When we where almost at the border with Syria the good road ended and it was like a damn horror movie going through the mountains during the night,on a unfinished road whit foggy wheather,you could've cut the fog whit a knife,not metaphorically speaking.And when we finally reached the border there was nobody there we had to wait 2 hours for somebody to come just to move 100 meters to wait again 3 hours until we passes the Syrian border.And after 3 more hours we finally arrived at my garndparents house.

I don't know if I'll write again in the next 2 weeks but I'll try.Peace.

2012,bullshit or cow turd?

2009-07-20T12:18:00.004+03:00

I bet it's cow turd.

Everybody started to make a big fuss about 2012 just because some smart ass said that the Maya calendar ends in 23 December,I mean we aren't that lucky to get of this planet that easily we still have a few decades to bust our asses working here.

And even if that calendar ends 2 more calendars ended before and the end was seen only by the people who stayed behind me when I farted.

I bet that 2 days before "the end" everybody is gonna go crazy and do stupid things,those being what they always wanted to do.So don't be surprised to see: naked people running like in American Pie:Naked Mile,millionaires wasting their money on bullshit ,people bungee jumping off their roofs etc. I'll probably be eating at KFC or watching a movie at the cinema.

And if it's gonna be the end of something,it's gonna be the end of the world as we know it,so maybe they'll change the name of the planet ,it's gonna be called The Fart.

Or maybe we'll be invaded by man eating gnomes which have their headquarters on the dark side of the moon,but I'll start building a anti-gnome bunker,and in 2012 in my bunker will be the last survivors,maybe their already here and disguised as....MIDGETS..wait...they already have actors and porn stars,so the invasion started.

Yeah....maybe I should stop sleeping with my TV on.

Guys I'm leaving for 2-3 weeks ,I'm going in Damascus at my other grandparents and I don't know how I'm gonna write because in Syria they don't use the internet to much,but I'll find somewhere a internet-cafe somewhere.

Told you.

"Perfect" day:The rotten apple

2009-07-19T22:55:00.002+03:00

I'm just not made to be lucky.

It was Saturday,I was home alone...everything was perfect.Well not really it was a total disaster.

The previous night my mom told me that she and my lil bro will go at the zoo in Belgrade,Serbia and that I'm gonna be alone all the day,she said that shes gonna leave me some money in case I run out of food.So then I went to sleep.

At 9 am someone started ringing at the bell I didn't want to answer but the damn bastards insisted ,so I went to see who it was,they where Jehovah witnesses,after they introduced their selves If I was a bit angrier I would have said "The only thing you're gonna witness today is may ass." But i just shut the door and went back in bed.

After I fell asleep in less than 5 min my mom called.She told me that she forgot to leave me money and that the fridge is almost empty./facepalm.I couldn't go back to sleep so I went in the kitchen and the only thing I found was a pack of rice... so I started cooking.But I still needed my juice so I went outside to take some apples and made some juice,of course one of the apples was rotten,but I didn't realize that only after I drank two glasses.

I didn't eat anything because the rice was disgusting and after drinking that juice suddenly the toilet became my best friend...so i Didn't leave home a few hours and when I finally felt better I went with a friend at the Beer Festival but not so surprisingly when we arrived there the rain started So I came back home and went to sleep.

That's the damn juice.

10 questions that scientists can't answer

2009-07-18T01:25:00.000+03:00

See? Nobody's perfect.

1.Is Fido a zombie?
Well...first of all who the fuck is Fido...it sounds like a dogs name.Mmmm... maybe it's a dog zombie or something like that.It just comes out of the grade and shits in your backyard at night.

2.Why is time so weird?
Why are people so weird?Why does my food smell weird?

3.Can i live forever please?
This one is easy:Just put your brain in a jar and connect it on a animal ... I've seen it in a reality show...or was it cartoon? Who cares?

4.What are we going to do with the stupid?
Were going to pass it over from generation to generation.

5.What is the dark side?
The side where it's dark.

6.Is the universe alive?
Poke it with a stick and see.

7.Are you the same person you were a minute ago?
Well it depends you could be a rich and happy man now and after a minute you could be in debt and hunted by the mafia.So no you're not the same person you were a minute before.

8.Why are we all so fat... and does it really matter?
Are they serious?No really?

9.Can we really be sure the paranormal is bunkum?
Yes.You ain't gonna see ghost or other shit unless you take aboard a few beers and some absint.

10.What is reality, really?
Well reality is...debt,pain,unhappiness,stupid politicians and a lot of people without anything...yep that's all of it...I think.

It wasn't so though answering those questions,wasn't it?